Self-Assumed Quality Service

A quiet fool is half a sage. - Yiddish Proverb

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

A fool and his money are soon elected. - Will Rogers

When fate arrives the physician becomes a fool. - Arabic proverb

If you want a quality, act as if you already had it. - William James

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. - Abraham Lincoln

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

A skillful man reads his dreams for self-knowledge, yet not the details but the quality. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. - George Santayana

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

Always remember money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense. - Earl Wilson

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. - H L Mencken

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain