Scubaru

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

A statistician can have his head in the oven and his feet in ice, and on average he feels fine. - Unknown

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice. - Robin Williams

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman