#1 humor site on the 'net

Runaway Tree

Arborist get to the root of the problem

Runaway Tree thanks to Hans Pagels

How to plant bare root trees in Kalaloch, Washington

QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

The deep roots never doubt spring will come. - Marty Rubin

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. - Soren Kierkegaard

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The root of all superstition is that men observe when a thing hits, but not when it misses. - Francis Bacon

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Character is better than ancestry, and personal conduct is of more importance than the highest. - Thomas J. Barnardo

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights. - Pauline R. Kezer

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It's in the democratic citizen's nature to be like a leaf that doesn't believe in the tree it's part of. - David Foster Wallace

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

The greatest thing about man is his ability to transcend himself, his ancestry and his environment and to become what he dreams of being. - Tully C. Knoles

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap

Soothing Hairstyle

Winter Ready

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Rush Job Calendar

Head Games

My Favourite Day of the Year

Millionaire Women

Face Palm

Restaurant Valentines

No Pit Stop Car

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

Love Lost

Below Ground

Religious Valentine

Rudolph Valentino

Hand Me Down Valentine

Valentine Reach