Ruined Day

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Reality continues to ruin my life. - Bill Watterson

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A year's care; a minute's ruin. - Filipino Proverb

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children. - Clarence Darrow

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. - Richard M Nixon

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash