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Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

If you marry for money you will earn every penny. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Don't marry for money, you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Saying

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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