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The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E Lewis

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward