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I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty. - J.P. Donleavy

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy. - James Goldsmith

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

I want a girl just like the girl that married dear old Dad. - Oedipus Rex

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

A good marriage was one in which each person thought he or she was getting the better deal. - Anne Lamott

Whether you wind up with a nest egg or a goose egg depends on the kind of chick you married. - Unknown

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother. - G Norman Collie

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst