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I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. - Sam Kinison

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

Will you marry me? Do you have any money?
Answer the second question first. - Groucho Marx

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

If your cousin Maude says one wrong word to me, we're gonna be leaving before the bride takes the shower. - Archie Bunker

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf