Royal Knit Wit

No man is an Ireland. - Richard Daley

Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle

Brevity is the soul of wit. - William Shakespeare

Silence is the wit of fools. - Anatole France

Impropriety is the soul of wit. - W Somerset Maugham

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson

What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher

When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

The well of true wit is truth itself. - George Meredith

As I get older, I just prefer to knit. - Tracey Ullman

I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West

Ireland is the old sow that eats her farrow. - James Joyce

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

You have a ready wit. Let me know when it's ready. - Henny Youngman

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

You only have to survive in England and all is forgiven you. - Alan Bennett

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Britain's most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. - Harold MacMillan

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. - George Herbert

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade. - Noel Coward

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I will continue to freak out my children by knitting in public. It's good for them. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Oats: A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit either. - Elizabeth Zimmermann

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

'Good English' is whatever educated people talk; so that what is good in one place or time would not be so in another. - C S Lewis

There is practically no activity that cannot be enhanced or replaced by knitting, if you really want to get obsessive about it. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift