Royal Knit Wit

Wit is educated insolence. - Aristotle

Impropriety is the soul of wit. - W Somerset Maugham

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare

England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Wit is an explosion of the compound spirit. - Karl W.F. Schlegel

He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

Britain's goal is not to survive, but to prevail. - Winston Churchill

He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

The English winter - ending in July, to recommence in August. - Lord Byron

What Great Britain calls the Far East is to us the near north. - Robert Gordon Menzies

There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope

Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education. - William Hazlitt

To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day. - W Somerset Maugham

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best

Civilization - a heap of rubble scavenged by scrawny English Lit. vultures. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Never make fun of someone who speaks broken English. It means they know another language. - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The noblest prospect which a Scotsman ever sees is the high road that leads him to England. - Samuel Johnson

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw

Ireland is a small but insuppressible island half an hour nearer the sunset than Great Britain. - Thomas Kettle

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison. - Unknown

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

I had to have some balls to be Irish Catholic in South London. Most of that time I spent fighting. - Pierce Brosnan

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton

In America, the policeman is a working-class hero. In England, the policeman is a working-class traitor. - Martin Amis

Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit; the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist. - G K Chesterton

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

I think what's going on with gorillas is pretty bad. The fact is that you can buy gorilla meat in London any day you want it. - Adam Ant

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. - Julia Roberts