QuotaBillsBrevity is the soul of wit. - William Shakespeare
Impropriety is the soul of wit. - W Somerset Maugham
A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis
Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope
Scotland is the Canada of England. - Rainn Wilson
What Britain needs is an iron lady. - Margaret Thatcher
When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare
England is a nation of shopkeepers. - Napoleon Bonaparte
The well of true wit is truth itself. - George Meredith
As I get older, I just prefer to knit. - Tracey Ullman
I speak two languages, English and Body. - Mae West
Wit is an explosion of the compound spirit. - Karl W.F. Schlegel
He was not only a bore; he bored for England. - Malcolm Muggeridge
English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill
You have a ready wit. Let me know when it's ready. - Henny Youngman
A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve
He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too. - Don King
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit. - W Somerset Maugham
Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown
The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge
You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach
If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon
Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith
There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood. - Bob Hope
Dublin University contains the cream of Ireland - rich and thick. - Samuel Beckett
All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe
In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo
In Ireland, a writer is looked upon as a failed conversationalist. - Unknown
I will resist the urge to underestimate the complexity of knitting. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
Wit is the rarest quality to be met with among people of education. - William Hazlitt
England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw
The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott
When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler
I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World. - George Best
It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker
I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov
The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy
In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. - George Herbert
Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead
The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker
I think of myself as being Jewish and Irish, despite the fact that I'm English. - Daniel Radcliffe
I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx
The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor
SABLE - A common knitting acronym that stands for Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard
I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery
A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income. - George Bernard Shaw
Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain
Although he tortures the English language, he has not yet succeeded in forcing it to reveal its meaning. - J B Morton
Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'. - Larry Gogan
I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost
Properly practiced, knitting soothes the troubled spirit, and it doesn't hurt the untroubled spirit either. - Elizabeth Zimmermann
The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit; the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist. - G K Chesterton
If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James
If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell
I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul
No bum that can't speak poifect English oughta stay in this country - oughta be de-exported the hell outta here! - Archie Bunker
If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson
The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton
The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton
Every street in London has a camera, and if you ever travel up the M4, it feels as if George Orwell should be your chauffeur. - Don McCullin
There is practically no activity that cannot be enhanced or replaced by knitting, if you really want to get obsessive about it. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde
The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork
Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft
There is not less wit, not less invention, in applying rightly a thought one finds in a book, than in being the first author of that book. - Pierre Boyle
Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. - Julia Roberts
Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin