Room For Two

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

My friends are my estate. - Emily Dickinson

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Friends don't let friends use Comic Sans. - Unknown

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. - Thomas Jones

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

If you want an accounting of your worth, count your friends. - Merry Browne

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

You shall judge a man by his foes as well as by his friends. - Joseph Conrad

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends. - Baltasar Gracian

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Mark Twain

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. - Aristotle

Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. - Jesus

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. - Oscar Wilde

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

Prosperity makes friends and adversity tries them. A true friend is one soul in two bodies. - Aristotle

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our ability to amuse them. - Evelyn Waugh

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. - Mark Twain

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

We challenge one another to be funnier and smarter ... It's the way friends make love to one another. - Annie Gottlieb

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

The longer we live the more we think and the higher the value we put on friendship and tenderness towards parents and friends. - Samuel Johnson

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying "flee at once - all is discovered." They all left town immediately. - Mark Twain

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell