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Resurrection Sermon
Baptist Easter - arising to the occasion
A Baptist Pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Little Johnny raised his hand.
Asking children questions in front of a congregation can be dangerous
The Pastor called on him and Little Johnny said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the Doctor.”
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.
It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.
Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Only where graves are is there resurrection. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan
For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
Our old history ends with the cross; our new history begins with the resurrection. - Watchman Nee
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar
Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
The resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. - Joseph B Wirthlin
We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. - Pope Francis
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone but in every leaf in springtime. - Martin Luther
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Let the resurrection joy lift us from loneliness and weakness and despair to strength and beauty and happiness. - Floyd W Tomkins
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. - Robert Flatt
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb
The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume
One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb
Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid
A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb
A young doctor makes a humpy graveyard. - English Proverb
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin
The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker
Only where graves are is there resurrection. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington
My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck
There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley
Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon
No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb
Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire
Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin
I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg
A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer
Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni
Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller
On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield
Unless there is a Good Friday in your life, there can be no Easter Sunday. - Fulton J Sheen
A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker
The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan
For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer
The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift
My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris
Our old history ends with the cross; our new history begins with the resurrection. - Watchman Nee
I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx
Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright
Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar
Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough
I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne
Christ appeared alive on several occasions after the cataclysmic events of that first Easter. - Josh McDowell
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles
I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne
A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown
The resurrection is at the core of our beliefs as Christians. Without it, our faith is meaningless. - Joseph B Wirthlin
We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. - Pope Francis
When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau
Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone but in every leaf in springtime. - Martin Luther
Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov
The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Let the resurrection joy lift us from loneliness and weakness and despair to strength and beauty and happiness. - Floyd W Tomkins
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields
The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick
The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. - Robert Flatt
The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers
It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle
The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw
I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray
A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown
Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw
A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer
Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp
It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy
A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer
My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield
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