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Resurrection Sermon

Baptist Easter - arising to the occasion

A Baptist Pastor was presenting a children’s sermon. During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was. Little Johnny raised his hand.
Resurrection Sermon thanks to Liz Ward, Squamish, B.C.

Asking children questions in front of a congregation can be dangerous

The Pastor called on him and Little Johnny said, “I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the Doctor.”

It took over ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

QuotaBills
Easter is never deserved. - Jan Karon

Quack: A duck's Doctor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The great gift of Easter is hope. - Basil C Hume

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Only where graves are is there resurrection. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

It is the resurrection that makes Good Friday good. - Ravi Zacharias

Easter spells out beauty, the rare beauty of new life. - S D Gordon

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal, and new life. - Janine di Giovanni

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

On Easter Day the veil between time and eternity thins to gossamer. - Douglas Horton

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The very first Easter taught us this: that life never ends and love never dies. - Kate McGahan

For I remember it is Easter morn, and life and love and peace are all new born. - Alice F Palmer

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

Easter is the demonstration of God that life is essentially spiritual and timeless. - Charles M Crowe

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Easter is the only time when it's perfectly safe to put all of your eggs in one basket. - Evan Esar

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

To a Christian, Easter Sunday means everything, when we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. - Bernhard Langer

We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. - Pope Francis

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Our Lord has written the promise of the resurrection, not in books alone but in every leaf in springtime. - Martin Luther

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Let the resurrection joy lift us from loneliness and weakness and despair to strength and beauty and happiness. - Floyd W Tomkins

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

The Easter egg symbolizes our ability to break out of the hardened, protective shell we've surrounded ourselves with. - Siobhan Shaw

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Let no one suppose that the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact that they are employer and employee. - George Bernard Shaw

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking. - Deepak Chopra

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky


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