#1 humor site on the 'net

Reducing Soap

How to reduce double chins and superfluous body fat

Reducing Soap thanks to Howard Chapman

New discovery acts like magic

QuotaBills
Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

I've reached the age where competence is a turn-on. - Billy Joel

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

To die in the flower of age is a life offered in sacrifice. - Madagascar Saying

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

Hesitation increases in relation to risk in equal proportion to age. - Ernest Hemingway

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert Hutchins

Middle age begins with the first mortgage and ends when you drop dead. - Herb Caen

Each age has deemed the new-born year the fittest time for festal cheer. - Walter Scott

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

When in doubt as to the applicability of a disinfectant, use soap and water. - Martin H. Fischer

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60. - Jack Nicholson

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Satchel Paige

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty in every age of life really never grows old. - Franz Kafka

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

My comfort is, that old age, that ill layer-up of beauty, can do no more spoil upon my face. - William Shakespeare

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. - Groucho Marx

I'm learning in my old age that the only thing you can do to keep your sanity is to stay in the moment. - Willem Dafoe

Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us. - Dave Turner

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

In today's information age of Marketing and Web 2.0, a company's website is the key to their entire business. - Marcus Sheridan

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Wailea Splendour

Me No Study

Peter Cotton Ale

Social Distancing Champ

GPS Directions

Secret Exit

Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone

My Time

Algebra Relationship

Mask Shortage

Exit Not Found

Early Shave

Dementia Purse

Quarantine Response

Braided Horse Tail

Government Debt

Statue Tug Of War

Kiosk Hours