#1 humor site on the 'net

Reducing Soap

How to reduce double chins and superfluous body fat

Reducing Soap thanks to Howard Chapman

New discovery acts like magic

QuotaBills
Youth has no age. - Pablo Picasso

Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Happiness, at my age, is breathing. - Joan Rivers

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. - Oliver C. Wilson

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs. - Unknown

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age. - Voltaire

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. - Phyllis Diller

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. - Billie Burke

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Middle age is when, wherever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater. - Denis Norden

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. - Bill Cosby

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Old age at least gives me an excuse for not being very good at things. - Thomas Sowell

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. - George Burns

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young. - Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty in every age of life really never grows old. - Franz Kafka

Middle age is when you're old enough to know better but still young enough to do it. - Ogden Nash

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. - George Burns

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off the lights for economical rather than romantic reasons. - Lillian Carter

Our Age of Anxiety is, in great part, the result of trying to do today's jobs with yesterday's tools. - Marshall McLuhan

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. - Ogden Nash

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

When you're my age, you just never risk being ill - because then everyone says, "Oh, he's done for." - John Gielgud

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton


Batman Equation

a real Bald Eagle

The Meaning Of Life

Back To The Fuchsia

Horse Mane Macrame

Out Of Estrogen - Make My Day

Staff Communications

Sew It Seams

Muslim Camel

Sister DNA

Join The Resistance

Rabbi Road

Vatican Chess

Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er