#1 humor site on the 'net

Reducing Soap

How to reduce double chins and superfluous body fat

Reducing Soap thanks to Howard Chapman

New discovery acts like magic

QuotaBills
Old age is the verdict of life. - Amelia E Barr

Two monsoons are the age of a man. - Bombay Proverb

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

People do not become more valuable with age. - Sam Levenson

There ain't no such thing as wrong food. - Sean Stewart

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Don't pick at your food. It won't heal. - Hawkeye Pierce

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

A lady of a 'certain age', which means Certainly aged. - Lord Byron

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old. - Peter Gabriel

Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. - Margaret Atwood

Man fools himself. He prays for a long life, and he fears an old age. - Chinese Proverb

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

The true function of age is memory. I'm recording as fast as I can. - Rita Mae Brown

Middle age is when you are not inclined to exercise anything but caution. - Arthur Murray

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

A rich rogue is like a fat hog, who never does good 'til as dead as a log. - Benjamin Franklin

Youth is the time of getting, middle age of improving, and old age of spending. - Anne Bradstreet

We need more young people involved in farming because the future needs real food. - Helena Sylvester

Cookie: The standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown

At middle age the soul should be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage. - John A Holmes

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom Wilson

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it. - Paula Poundstone

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

There is a plan and a purpose, a value to every life, no matter what its location, age, gender or disability. - Sharron Angle

There's no age that isn't a good time to confront one's mortality or to consider a second adulthood. - Barbara Ehrenreich

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and the Cross of the Legion of Honor. - Andre Gide

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

The truth is, I do indulge myself a little the more in pleasure, knowing that this is the proper age of my life to do it. - Samuel Pepys

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali


Sea Painting

Radish Camouflage

Canadian Twins

Big Birth - They Start Off Big At This Hospital

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Not Stuck

Motorcycle For Sale

Dog Cross

Pigeon Drink

Pittsburghese

Whose Problem

Grasping Shirt

An Evening Prayer

Baby Clone

Piano Ring

Religious Nuts

Funnel Farm

Urinal Challenge

Snow Detour

Redneck GPS

Snow Receiver

Book Perspective

Why Stand In Line?

How Twins Are Made