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Redneck Hood Ornament

The car was starting to run a little hot the last few miles

An elderly couple were on their way to Tawas City, Michigan. They stopped at a McDonalds in Augres, just off of US Highway 23. They didn't realize that they had hit a deer! Someone in McDonalds had to tell them...
Redneck Hood Ornament thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Caution: Deer Was On Road

When is it time to turn in one's license?

QuotaBills
Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

The fabled musk deer searches the world over for the source of the scent which comes from itself. - Ramakrishna

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I take a lot of pride in the work I do, because people pay to see me. They've got to get babysitters, park their car, get popcorn and candy. I've got to be conscious of that. - Mr. T

When the last deer disappears into the morning mist; when the last elk vanishes from the hills; when the last buffalo falls on the plains; I will hunt mice, for I am a hunter and I must have my freedom. - Chief Joseph

Canada should always open its doors to those who are oppressed or in cases of emergency. When Canada offered refuge to 50,000 boat people in Vietnam in the 1970s, I was particularly proud to be Canadian. - David Suzuki

Consider the wheelbarrow. It may lack the grace of an airplane, the speed of an automobile, the initial capacity of a freight car, but its humble wheel marked out the path of what civilization we still have. - Hal Borland

Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. - Brian Tracy

Investors have few spare tires left. Think of the image of a car on a bumpy road to an uncertain destination that has already used up its spare tire. The cash reserves of people have been eaten up by the recent market volatility. - Mohamed El-Erian

When I consider that the noble animals have been exterminated here - the cougar, panther, lynx, wolverine, wolf, bear, moose, deer, the beaver, the turkey, etc - I cannot but feel as I lived in a tamed, and, as it were, emasculated country. - Henry David Thoreau

Every kid has a toy that they believe is their best friend, that they believe communicates with them, and they imagine it being alive, their toy horse or car or whatever it is. Stop-motion is the only medium where we literally can make a toy come to life, an actual object. - Henry Selick


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