An elderly couple were on their way to Tawas City, Michigan. They stopped at a McDonalds in Augres, just off of US Highway 23. They didn't realize that they had hit a deer! Someone in McDonalds had to tell them...
QuotaBillsAfford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown
Donation: A country full of female deer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant
I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow
When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon
If you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport. - Elayne Boosler
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain
Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown
An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II
In my cosmology, indigenous wild deer are more important than exotic ornamental shrubs. - Elizabeth M. Thomas
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
HonkoSecond: The time between the light turning green and the sound from the car horn behind you - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson
Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright
A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman
My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was.
She told me, "In the lake." - Red Skelton
Battery Electrolyte Tester: A tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If you are a writer, you locate yourself behind a wall of silence and no matter what you are doing, driving a car or walking or doing housework you can still be writing, because you have that space. - Joyce Carol Oates
I love the way music inside a car makes you feel invisible. If you play the stereo at max volume, it's almost like the other people can't see into your vehicle. It tints your windows, somehow. - Chuck Klosterman
Consider the wheelbarrow. It may lack the grace of an airplane, the speed of an automobile, the initial capacity of a freight car, but its humble wheel marked out the path of what civilization we still have. - Hal Borland
Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. - Brian Tracy
Al Gore, the former vice-president of the United States, lives in a mansion that uses more electricity than the average family's bungalow! David Suzuki rides on a bus that uses more fuel than a Smart car to get across Canada! And this is just the tip of the vanishing iceberg! - Linwood Barclay
One hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much money I had in my bank account, or what my clothes looked like. But one hundred years from now the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child. - Unknown