#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck Hedge Clipper

How to prune a hedge for your garden

Redneck Hedge Clipper thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Bubba found the perfect hedging accessory for his lawn

QuotaBills
Recede: Plant the garden again - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grace: nutrient in the marriage garden - Phil Callaway

A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. - Unknown

Implement: Mischievous child's garden tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Eve: The first chicken to ruin a man's garden - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hedgehogs - why don't they just share the hedge? - Unknown

Trim Figures: What women do when they tell their age - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

It takes both rain and sunshine to make the garden grow. - Amish Saying

A single rose can be my garden; a single friend, my world. - Leo Buscaglia

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need. - Cicero

Won't you come into the garden? I would like my roses to see you. - Richard B. Sheridan

The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. - George Bernard Shaw

Knowledge is like a garden: if it is not cultivated, it cannot be harvested. - Unknown

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

The Book of Life begins with a man and woman in a garden, and it ends with Revelations. - Oscar Wilde

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. - Ambrose Bierce

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Tennyson

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

I want a house with a garden, but slap bang in the centre of London. Next door to a sushi bar. - Michelle Dockery

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Fence: 1. The difference between one yard and two yards; 2. Runs around the garden without moving. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Unemployment: 1. Capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden; 2. An intelligent alternative to overwork. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I value my garden more for being full of blackbirds than of cherries, and very frankly give them fruit for their songs. - Joseph Addison

Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same. - Helen Keller

Grass: 1. The green stuff that wilts in the yard and flourishes in the garden; 2. What grows by the yard and dies by the foot. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Vacation Time: That period when the flowers in the home garden are at their best and only the neighbours are around to enjoy them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Negative thoughts are like weeds in your garden and positive thoughts are the seeds of your garden, kill the weeds and feed the seeds. - Sukhi Burgen

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. - Dale Carnegie

The media have provided the Devil with perhaps the greatest opportunity accorded him since Adam and Eve were turned out of the Garden of Eden. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves. - Leonora Carrington


Redneck Dent Repair

Cocktail Shirt

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Boy George or Boy Gorge?

Tall Guy Bike

Lord Voldemort Rock

Illusionary

Copperhead Tree

Dream Big

Spot the Man's Head Hidden in the Coffee Beans

British Survey

Political Promise Transporter

Jam Packed Suitcase

All White Meat

Alien Moon Landing

Nothing But Net

Bible Bar

Branding Inspiration for Graphic Designers

Original Homeland Security - 2nd Amendment

Sunday Weather Forecast

On The Eighth Day

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Texas Limo

No Smoking Fish