Redneck Daycare

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Deceitful: Infant who needs changing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

Kidnapping: The short snatches of rest a parent gets when baby sleeps - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

Clients don't care about the labor pains; they want to see the baby. - Tim Williams

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No one escapes his fate, not the coward, nor the brakeman, from the moment of his birth. - Homer

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds