Ready Soon

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. - Dorothy Parker

Heidi Klum. Sadly, she's no longer a 10. - Donald Trump

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - Unknown

All my available funds are completely tied up in ready cash. - WC Fields

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin. - Will Rogers

She's a skeleton in the sand right now. She comes and she goes. - Annalies Corbin

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. - Red Skelton

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. - Sir Francis Bacon

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready, here comes life. - Unknown

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. - James Allen

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Don't be accusing me of taking a bribe. You know what they call that, "definition of character." - Archie Bunker

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't... It's that some people are ready to change and others are not. - James Gordon

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

Every man, as to character, is the creature of the age in which he lives. Very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of their times. - Voltaire