#1 humor site on the 'net

Ready Soon

She said I wouldn't have to wait long

Ready Soon thanks to Howard Chapman

When you have time to spare

QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. - Dorothy Parker

Heidi Klum. Sadly, she's no longer a 10. - Donald Trump

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home. - Unknown

All my available funds are completely tied up in ready cash. - WC Fields

I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed. - Henny Youngman

She was so ugly she could make a mule back away from an oat bin. - Will Rogers

She's a skeleton in the sand right now. She comes and she goes. - Annalies Corbin

The husbands of very beautiful women belong to the criminal classes. - Oscar Wilde

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off. - Red Skelton

My idea of baking is buying a ready-make cake mix and throwing in an egg. - Cilla Black

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. - Sir Francis Bacon

He who has two women loses his soul. But he who has two homes loses his mind. - Ancient Proverb

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. - Helen Rowland

Let choice whisper in your ear and love murmur in your heart. Be ready, here comes life. - Unknown

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. - Robin Williams

A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts. - James Allen

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some old women and men grow bitter with age. The more their teeth drop out, the more biting they get. - George D. Prentice

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Don't be accusing me of taking a bribe. You know what they call that, "definition of character." - Archie Bunker

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

I like the West. That's where men are men and women are women, and it's hard to beat a combination like that. - Milton Berle

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

All of the women on 'The Apprentice' flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected. - Donald Trump

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't... It's that some people are ready to change and others are not. - James Gordon

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

Every man, as to character, is the creature of the age in which he lives. Very few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of their times. - Voltaire


I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap

Soothing Hairstyle

Winter Ready

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Rush Job Calendar

Head Games

My Favourite Day of the Year

Millionaire Women

Face Palm

Restaurant Valentines

No Pit Stop Car

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

Love Lost

Below Ground

Religious Valentine

Rudolph Valentino

Hand Me Down Valentine

Valentine Reach