Police Rides

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If the world were a logical place, men would ride sidesaddle. - Rita Mae Brown

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

The Holy Father's newest Encyclacle? Like anyone cares what he rides around on. - Archie Bunker

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

Good Secretary: A stenographer who must think like a man, act like a lady, and work like a horse - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

Horse: 1. An oatsmobile; 2. An animal that cannot say yes, only neigh; 3. An animal that goes to bed with its shoes on. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tension: 1. The price you pay for being a race horse instead of a plow horse; 2. What the sergeant shouts to his soldiers. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Men may change their climate, but they cannot change their nature. A man that goes out a fool cannot ride or sail himself into common sense. - Joseph Addison

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff