Police Rides

I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had the best buffalo horse that ever made a track. - Buffalo Bill

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

A horse doesn't care how much you know until it knows how much you care. - Tom Smith

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

When you're young and you fall off a horse, you may break something. When you're my age and you fall off, you splatter. - Roy Rogers

We will never have to tell our horse that we are sad, happy, confident, angry or relaxed. He already knows - long before we do. - Marjike de Jong

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud