Police Rides

If it swells, ride it! - Unknown

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Horse ovaries (hors d'oeuvres) - Archie Bunker

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

There is not one right way to ride a wave. - Jamie O'Brien

Life looks better from the back of a horse. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Maybe I should just go home and ride my tractor. - Chuck Grassley

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

The world's second-most crime is boredom; the first is being a bore. - Cecil Beaton

Unicorn: 1. A single blemish on the foot; 2. A horse with a point of view. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character. - Tesio

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. - Will Rogers

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com