#1 humor site on the 'net

Police Drone

Absolute confidence in latest security system

Police Drone thanks to Mel Hardman

U.K. surveillance on 'high alert' - British Bobbies prepare for the London Marathon

QuotaBills
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

The crime of loving is forgetting. - Maurice Chevalier

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Procrastination is the thief of time. - Edward Young

Owning a drone does not a pilot make. - Alex Morritt

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

A friend to honesty and a foe to crime. - Allan Pinkerton

Goose Bumps: To keep geese from speeding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An art thief is a man who takes pictures. - George Carlin

Behind every great fortune there is a crime. - Honore de Balzac

Thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot! - William Shakespeare

Show me a liar, and I'll show you a thief. - George Herbert

Poverty is the parent of revolution and crime. - Aristotle

Obviously crime pays, or there'd be no crime. - G. Gordon Liddy

Is it a bigger crime to rob a bank or to open one? - Ted Allan

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

Stop crime at its source - support planned parenthood. - Robert Byrne

You can't stop a thing by makin' a crime of it. - Kin Hubbard

I think crime pays. The hours are good, and you travel a lot. - Woody Allen

Rape is the only crime in which the victim becomes the accused. - Freda Adler

Don King is a big ... thief, and everyone in this room knows it. - Donald Trump

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong. - Kin Hubbard

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Save a thief from the gallows and he will be the first to cut your throat. - Italian Proverb

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

The police are not here to create disorder, they;re here to preserve disorder. - Richard J Daley

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Outside of the killings, D.C. has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. - Marion Barry

I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy. - J.D. Salinger

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

Tabloid: 1. A newspaper with a permanent crime wave; 2. A screamlined newspaper. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let's commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart, and you steal mine. - Meryl Streep

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed. - Anthony Powell

Blind commitment to a theory is not an intellectual virtue: it is an intellectual crime. - Imre Lakatos

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

When a man commits the same crime twice, and is not punished, it seems to him permissible. - Talmud

He was always late on principle; his principle being that punctuality is the thief of time. - Oscar Wilde

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. - Josh Billings

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence. - Steven Wright

The true identity theft is not financial. It's not in cyberspace. It's spiritual. It's been taken. - Stephen Covey

The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him. - G K Chesterton

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

At the end of a marathon, it's going to hurt whether you're speeding up or slowing down. You may as well push. - Summer Sanders

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - Colin Powell


Chinese Puzzle Car

Always Give 100% At Work

Ancient Politician

My Toaster Is Broken

Shining Stars

Tunnel Face

The Bugs Are Bad This Year

Dog Spa

Ostrich Imprint

Local Crabs

World's First Hard Hat

Bird Melons

Bag Hang-Up

LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo