Please Shake

Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. - Tennessee Williams

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

You do well to consider the office your own, for you bought it. - Julius Caesar's father

The most important political office is that of the private citizen. - Louis D. Brandeis

He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time. - Richard Nixon

A human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself. - Henry Winkler

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of ignorance. - Petrarch

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

We should be as water, which is lower than all things yet stronger even than the rocks. - Sioux Proverb

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Injustice alone can shake down the pillars of the skies, and restore the reign of Chaos and Night. - Horace Mann

The person that turns over the most rocks wins the game. And that's always been my philosophy. - Peter Lynch

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it's out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows. - Unknown

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

It wasn't until we got out first office in Palo Alto where things became more like a company. We never went into this wanting to build a company. - Mark Zuckerberg