Please Shake

Post Office: U.S. Snail - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong

Fireplace: An office used for discharging people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

You do well to consider the office your own, for you bought it. - Julius Caesar's father

The call of love sounds very hollow among these immobile rocks. - Gustav Mahler

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

A human being's first responsibility is to shake hands with himself. - Henry Winkler

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of ignorance. - Petrarch

The knowledge from an enlightened person breaks on the hard rocks of ignorance. - Mahesh Yogi

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

Tavern: 1. Thirst come, thirst served; 2. A place where madness is sold by the bottle. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

Injustice alone can shake down the pillars of the skies, and restore the reign of Chaos and Night. - Horace Mann

God is not a genie in a bottle, and your wish is not His command. His command better be your wish. - Mark Batterson

I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein. - George W. Bush

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says when he's in love, drunk or running for office. - Shirley Maclaine

A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it's out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows. - Unknown

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. - Thibaut

The Duchess smashed the bottle against the bow and amid the applause of the crowd she slid on her greasy bottom into the sea. - Unknown

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I love working for myself from home. I get along with everyone in the office; I can show up in pajamas, and I always win Employee of the Month. - Missy Miwac

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

It wasn't until we got out first office in Palo Alto where things became more like a company. We never went into this wanting to build a company. - Mark Zuckerberg

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah