Please Shake

Dentist Office: A filling station - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fireplace: An office used for discharging people - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The violets in the mountains have broken the rocks. - Tennessee Williams

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

The call of love sounds very hollow among these immobile rocks. - Gustav Mahler

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office. - Thomas Jefferson

There is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. - Gary Hart

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song. - Carl Perkins

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of ignorance. - Petrarch

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Personally, I'm against political jokes. Too often they get elected to office. - Henny Youngman

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

Tavern: 1. Thirst come, thirst served; 2. A place where madness is sold by the bottle. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

Injustice alone can shake down the pillars of the skies, and restore the reign of Chaos and Night. - Horace Mann

God is not a genie in a bottle, and your wish is not His command. His command better be your wish. - Mark Batterson

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not professional anymore. - Jeff Foxworthy

I have far too many skeletons in my closet to think about any sort of serious mention of public office. - David Cone

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it's out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows. - Unknown

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

A boss on vacation is the most cost effective measure. Everybody in the office has a vacation at the cost of one. - Thibaut

The Brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

The Post Office just recalled their newest stamps. They had a picture of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. - Marvin Lebman

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah