Please Shake

Geologists have a saying - rocks remember. - Neil Armstrong

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. - Indira Gandhi

Comedy is like catching lightning in a bottle. - Goldie Hawn

The genie can't be pushed back into the bottle. - David N Leff

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office. - Heloise Cruse

It's so much easier to throw rocks than it is to govern. - Karen Bass

You do well to consider the office your own, for you bought it. - Julius Caesar's father

Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. - Aesop

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

He could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time. - Richard Nixon

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. - Dorothy Parker

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. - Aesop

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office. - Thomas Jefferson

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

Every time I fill a vacant office, I make ten malcontents and one ingrate. - Louis XIV

I have to get inspired by something that touches my soul, or rocks my soul. - Steven Tyler

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

How difficult it is to save the bark of reputation from the rocks of ignorance. - Petrarch

The knowledge from an enlightened person breaks on the hard rocks of ignorance. - Mahesh Yogi

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

I had the most boring office job in the world - I used to clean the windows on envelopes. - Rita Rudner

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. - WC Fields

The person that turns over the most rocks wins the game. And that's always been my philosophy. - Peter Lynch

A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it's out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows. - Unknown

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it because when they fired me, I had to show up at work anyway. - Wally Wang

What politicians want to create is irreversible change because when you leave office someone changes it back again. - Estelle Morris

There was a fire at the main Inland Revenue office in London today, but it was put out before any serious good was done. - Ronnie Corbett

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly anybody will side with you when you are right. - Mark Twain

A wise man is cured of ambition by ambition itself; his aim is so exalted that riches, office, fortune and favour cannot satisfy him. - Samuel Johnson

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

It wasn't until we got out first office in Palo Alto where things became more like a company. We never went into this wanting to build a company. - Mark Zuckerberg