#1 humor site on the 'net

Pizza Cutter

On the cutting edge of food preparation

Pizza Cutter thanks to Keith Blake

A great homemade pizza isn't finished until you pull out this

QuotaBills
Measure twice, cut once. - Craftsman Aphorism

Trust everybody, but cut the cards. - Finley Peter Dunne

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Saying

They should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. - Ellen DeGeneres

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone. - W H Auden

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

Drama is real life with the dull bits cut out. - Alfred Hitchcock

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him. - Robert Byrne

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off his allowance. - Al Bernstein

I'm just like anyone. I cut and I bleed and I embarass easily. - Michael Jackson

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open. - Chuck Palahniuk

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

The grass may be greener on the other side, but it's just as hard to cut. - Little Richard

Lawyers are like scissors; they never cut each other, but what is between them. - Unknown

Everyone should be paid what he is worth, no matter how big a pay cut is involved. - Unknown

Zero: The number of times you’ve gotten to eat most of the pizza you ordered - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Roses are red, Pizza sauce is too, I ordered a large, and None of it is for you. - Unknown

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

Confidence is like a dragon where, for every head cut off, two more heads grow back. - Criss Jami

After you cut off a person's nose there is no point in giving him a rose to smell. - Ravi Zacharias

Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust. - John Webster

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. - P.J. O'Rourke

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. - Virginia Woolf

I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein. - George W. Bush

Let's be frank, the Italians' technological contribution to humankind stopped with the pizza oven. - Bill Bryson

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared. - Unknown

I'm not interested in cutting the feet off my characters or stretching them to make them fit my certain political view. - Margaret Atwood

I like to eat pizza and spaghetti pomodoro, and I'm crazy for dessert. I like all of them: cassata, cheesecake, biscuits. - Stefano Gabbana

Cut out the free feed for the boss hogs at the public trough and the spill-over they've been leaving us. We'll manage. - Paul Harvey

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

The research rat of the future allows experimentation without manipulation of the real world. This is the cutting edge of modeling technology. - John Spencer

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate and doubt, to offer a solution everybody can understand. - Colin Powell

I've met talespinners before, Jake, and they're all cut more or less from the same cloth. They tell tales because they're afraid of life. - Stephen King


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Biden in the Oval Office

Poor Fishing Day

Mustache Breeze

Chain Weave Hairstyle

Jar of Birds

Wheely Unstable

Roman Segway Chariot

Rocky Orders

Snowmobile Races - Get There Early

Pocket Change

Welcome to Texas, USPS

Not Without A Washer

Jogger's Weight Scale

Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners