#1 humor site on the 'net

Pecking Order

Seeing eye bird for blind eagles

Pecking Order thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When focusing on the job at hand might be difficult

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

The freedom of birds is an insult to me. - Cormac McCarthy

Sometime the peacock wish to be the seagull. - Jamaican Saying

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

I will be the Thai equivalent of Eddie the Eagle. - Vanessa Mae

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night. - Archie Bunker

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If the Eagle Scouts had some sort of Sith equivalent, Marcone was it. - Jim Butcher

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly

As the eagle was killed by the arrow winged with his own feather, so the hand of the world is wounded by its own skill. - Helen Keller

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

The shaft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagle's own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our destruction. - Aesop

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise

Crab Collection