#1 humor site on the 'net

Pecking Order

Seeing eye bird for blind eagles

Pecking Order thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When focusing on the job at hand might be difficult

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Sometime the peacock wish to be the seagull. - Jamaican Saying

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

A lot of people attack the sea. I make love to it. - Jacques Cousteau

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

I never wanted to weigh more heavily on a man than a bird. - Coco Chanel

Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back. - Paul Erdos

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

Suppose you get an attack of gastriasis in the middle of the night. - Archie Bunker

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

If I ever have to stop taking the subway, I'm gonna have a heart attack. - Edward Norton

We don't believe in rheumatism and true love until after the first attack. - Marie Ebner Von Eschenbach

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

Many an attack of depression is nothing but the expression of regret at having to be virtuous. - Wilhelm Stekel

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

That the Pearl Harbor attack should have succeeded in achieving surprise seems a blessing from heaven. - Hideki Tojo

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Wrestlers in the U.S.A. are very aggressive. All they want to do is attack, but they'll make mistakes. - Kurt Angle

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

You don't learn to hold your own in the world by standing on guard, but by attacking and getting well hammered yourself. - George Bernard Shaw

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

The Obama representatives like Robert Gibbs attack people viciously, but people like me will not be silent and will answer them back. - Donald Trump

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. - Jay Leno

When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my country. I make up for lost time when I am at home. - Winston Churchill


Respect For Grapes

Up Purriscope

Fresh Chicken

Ice Climbing Building

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

Lazy Line Painters

Vegan Brownies

From Start To Finish

Milkshake Diet

Hand Speech

Software Cake

Bland Entrance

Preikestolen Pulpit Rock

Redneck Firemen

Side Rail

Icy Grip Of Winter

Brace For The Resolutioners

Shining Armor Knight

Icicle Drinks

Incontinent Pool

Handstand Snowman

Woke Up Early

Sincere Compliment