#1 humor site on the 'net

Oscar Photobomb

The first photo bomb of the Oscars goes to...

Oscar Photobomb thanks to Keith Blake

Televising an unexpected Oscar nominee

QuotaBills
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. - Steven Wright

There is no Nobel Prize for fact-checking. - John Oliver

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

There is no preparation for sudden celebrity. - Scarlett Johannson

The virtue lies in the struggle, not in the prize. - Richard Monckton Milnes

In war there is no second prize for the runner-up. - Omar Bradley

I'd give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward! - Archie Bunker

Awards are like piles. Sooner or later, every bum gets one. - Maureen Lipman

The only thing Cy Young didn't win was the Cy Young Award. - Joe Torre

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a prize - a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher! - Unknown

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy. - Jack Nicholson

Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent. - Emily Dickinson

Prizes are like sashes, you can wear them and be Miss World for a bit. - Martin Amis

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. - Carol Burnett

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

A celebrity is a person known to many people he is glad he doesn't know. - H L Mencken

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. - Mark Twain

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. - Theodore Roosevelt

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. - Jack Benny

My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. - Michael Caine

Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it. - George Duhamel

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger

I really wanted the MTV Award the most, It was a golden popcorn container and it looks really neat. - Kirsten Dunst

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

'Groundhog Day' was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award. - Bill Murray

A kind of banalization of celebrity has occurred: we are now offered an instant, ready-to-mix fame as nutritious as packet soup. - J G Ballard

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before. - Stephen Hawking

The high prize of life, the crowning fortune of a man, is to be born with a bias to some pursuit, which finds him in employment and happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Ping Wrong

Tree House

Skull Violins

Finger Phone

Family Bike

Airless See-Through Tires

Aussie Motorcycle

Statue Selfie

Bacon Sandwich

Elephant Hand

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Dragon Buoy

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Bird Melons

Local Crabs

Black Golfer

Ostrich Imprint

Tea Party Weapon

Extra Space Bed

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche