Oscar Photobomb

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. - Steven Wright

There is no Nobel Prize for fact-checking. - John Oliver

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

There is no preparation for sudden celebrity. - Scarlett Johannson

Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The virtue lies in the struggle, not in the prize. - Richard Monckton Milnes

In war there is no second prize for the runner-up. - Omar Bradley

I'd give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward! - Archie Bunker

Awards are like piles. Sooner or later, every bum gets one. - Maureen Lipman

The only thing Cy Young didn't win was the Cy Young Award. - Joe Torre

Fan Club: Weapon used by a celebrity to beat off too many fans - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a prize - a beautiful riding mower with optional ass scratcher! - Unknown

I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy. - Jack Nicholson

Celebrity is the chastisement of merit and the punishment of talent. - Emily Dickinson

Prizes are like sashes, you can wear them and be Miss World for a bit. - Martin Amis

Shoot a few scenes out of focus. I want to win the foreign film award. - Billy Wilder

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Getting an award from TV is like being kissed by someone with bad breath. - Mason Williams

Celebrity was a long time in coming; it will go away. Everything goes away. - Carol Burnett

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Was Uncle Oscar's death very untimely, you ask? Well, it was near lunch. - Archie Bunker

A celebrity is a person known to many people he is glad he doesn't know. - H L Mencken

To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal. - Mark Twain

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out award. - Jack Nicholson

The best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing. - Theodore Roosevelt

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. - Jack Benny

My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. - Michael Caine

Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it. - George Duhamel

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that if you bore people they think it's their fault. - Henry Kissinger

I really wanted the MTV Award the most, It was a golden popcorn container and it looks really neat. - Kirsten Dunst

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damage awards. - Jodi Picoult

'Groundhog Day' was one of the greatest scripts ever written. It didn't even get nominated for an Academy Award. - Bill Murray

A kind of banalization of celebrity has occurred: we are now offered an instant, ready-to-mix fame as nutritious as packet soup. - J G Ballard

I like cast iron coated with enamel for longevity and forgiveness if I happen to take my eyes off the prize while pouring Chianti. - Mario Batali

Street League Skateboarding is the premier professional skateboarding league in the world, with the biggest prize money in history. - Rob Dyrdek

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before. - Stephen Hawking

The high prize of life, the crowning fortune of a man, is to be born with a bias to some pursuit, which finds him in employment and happiness. - Ralph Waldo Emerson