One Thousand Words

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. - Groucho Marx

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Dance is the hidden language of the soul. - Martha Graham

A story is told as much by silence as by speech. - Susan Griffin

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation. - George Bernard Shaw

All poetry is a reproduction of the tones of actual speech. - Robert Frost

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

The surest way to make a monkey out of a man is to quote him. - Robert Benchley

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

You don't have good grammar when you type with your fists. - C.F. Payne

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity. - Gordie Howe

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

I don't care what you say about me. Just be sure to spell my name wrong. - Barbra Streisand

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

"The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" had the big fat English actor, Charles Lawson. - Archie Bunker

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

Grammar: the difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You're Nuts. - Unknown

Grammar, which knows how to lord it over kings, and with high hands makes them obey its laws. - Moliere

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech. - George Bernard Shaw

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton