#1 humor site on the 'net

One Slice

Jason started his diet of one pizza slice per day

One Slice thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

When you won't need a take-out bag

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Where love sets the table, food tastes at its best. - French Proverb

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. - P.J. O'Rourke

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

When you're stressed, eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets. Why? Because stressed spelled backwards is desserts. - Unknown

The disparity between a restaurant's price and food quality rises in direct proportion to the size of the pepper mill. - Bryan Miller

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie


Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane

Air Wakanda

Birthday Bonus

Harrison Ford

Better Start In Life

Husband Makes Lunch

Bottle Curtains

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Frozen Eyelashes

Chipwrecked

Moose Parking

Long Winter

Another Day In Traffic