#1 humor site on the 'net

Olive Weather Forecast

How olives swing in Israel

Olive Weather Forecast thanks to joe-kster

Weather predictions at the Olive Tree Hotel in Jerusalem

QuotaBills
You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

An end is in sight to the severe weather shortage. - Ian Macaskill

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. - Bob Hope

Weekend forecast: crafting with a chance of chocolate. - Unknown

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

If it weren't for the olive, I'd starve to death. - Unknown

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

I'm kosher except for times where I eat pork and shellfish. - Roseanne Barr

I don't think anyone has been slandered more than the Jews. - Fidel Castro

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

You still can't find Israel on a map of the Middle East in a Palestinian schoolbook. - Suzanne Fields

I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining. - Groucho Marx

I certainly don't live in a kosher home although I was raised in a kosher environment. - Leonard Nimoy

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

This is the real enemy, the invader from the East, the Druze, the ruffian, the oriental parasite; in a word: the Jew. - George Bernard Shaw

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive. - Boris Johnson

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

It goes back to Christianity's affiliation with Judaism as Passover. Easter is as important to Christians as Passover is to the Jews. - Glenn Duffy

Reporter to Beatles during their first US tour: "How do you find America?"
Ringo Starr: "Turn left at Greenland." - Ringo Starr

I come bearing an olive branch in one hand, and the freedom fighter's gun in the other. Do not let the olive branch fall from my hand. - Yasser Arafat

Money is like gasoline during a road trip. You don't want to run out of gas on your trip, but you're not doing a tour of gas stations. - Tim O'Reilly

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb

World Peas

Hide and Seek

Hoodie Onesy

Going Around In Circles

Whiskey Jig

Redneck Mercedes

Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt

What Do You See? - Part III

ThaiTanic

Aging Mermaid

Get Along Shirt

Bruce Lee Coffee