New iPhone - Special Delivery

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother willing to let him have one. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later. - Unknown

I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

My cell phone is acting up - I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work. - Unknown

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

Carry your courage in an easily accessible place, the way you do your cellphone or your wallet. Courage is the ultimate career move. - Anna Quindlen

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz