New Apple Glass

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

The glass is half full, not half empty. - John Milton

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. - Unknown

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable. - Simon Sinek

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. - Andy Rooney

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison