#1 humor site on the 'net

New Apple Glass

Bubba's iBar app for Redneck bartenders

New Apple Glass thanks to Heather Pulfer

Next product rollout will turn water into wine

QuotaBills
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Iconomic: Making do with fewer icons on your computer desktop - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why. - Bernard Baruch

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Window: 1. A looking-out glass; 2. Place in the truck to hang your guns. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Keyboard: 1. Place to hang your keys; 2. The standard way to generate computer errors. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter. Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable. - Simon Sinek

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Teach your daughter to worry less about fitting into the glass slippers and more about shattering the glass ceilings. - Unknown

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Facebook is in a very different place than Apple, Google, Amazon, Samsung, and Microsoft. We are trying to build a community. - Mark Zuckerberg

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The night stared me in the face, amorphous, blind, infinite, without frontiers. Not a single start relieved the darkness behind the glass. - Stanisław Lem

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


Stone Wall Art

Grad Support

Radar Speed Check

Camouflage Face

Crab Bridge

Illusive Animal Kingdom

Off The Wall Biker

Buffalo Art

TitanoBoa

Secret Graduation Gift

Fish Fingers

I'll Be Right There

Redneck Sandals

Down Under Statue

Ventriloquist Isolation

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

PEI Weather

Frankfurt Subway Entrance

Shopping With Your Husband

Where is Waldo?

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

July 4th Balloon