#1 humor site on the 'net

New Apple Glass

Bubba's iBar app for Redneck bartenders

New Apple Glass thanks to Heather Pulfer

Next product rollout will turn water into wine

QuotaBills
In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

The glass is half full, not half empty. - John Milton

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why. - Bernard Baruch

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

There are three words I like to repeat to myself: glass half full. Just to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have. - Goldie Hawn

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown


World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life

Dog Walker

New Zealand Prepares For War

Window Washing Daredevil

Aussie Ford Coupe

Pushing The Envelope

Window Fall Repair

Bacon Balls

Tiny Forest

Inside Loo View

Finally 21

Diet Swing

Vealy Big Meal

Just Like Grandpa