New Apple Glass

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Glass: Chinese marijuana - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Computer viruses should count as life. - Stephen Hawking

The glass is half full, not half empty. - John Milton

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked. - Jeff Pesis

The computer is down. I hope it's something serious. - Stanton Delaplane

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why. - Bernard Baruch

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe. - Carl Sagan

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

There are three words I like to repeat to myself: glass half full. Just to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have. - Goldie Hawn

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. - Unknown