My Toaster Is Broken

I hid myself in food. - Gordon Ramsay

Spoils Of War: Army food - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot Time: A clock in an oven - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fine words do not produce food. - Nigeria Proverb

The heart will break, but broken live on. - Lord Byron

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

Food is the most primitive form of comfort. - Sheila Graham

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

I'm tired of recipes assuming I have a stove. - Kevin Farzad

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. - Chris Rock

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

People want honest, flavourful food, not some show-off meal that takes days to prepare. - Ted Allen

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all. - Ovid

Once you have mastered a technique, you hardly need look at a recipe again, and can take off on your own. - Julia Child

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

If music be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it; that surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die. - William Shakespeare

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

The two things that are going to make you a better baker without even trying are a scale and a thermometer in your oven. - Tom Douglas

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

There are all kinds of ways for a relationship to be tested, even broken, some, irrevocably; it's the endings we're unprepared for. - Katherine Owen

There is one longing almost as deep and imperious as the desire for food and sleep. It is the desire to be great. It is the desire to be important. - Dale Carnegie

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock