#1 humor site on the 'net

My Toaster Is Broken

Home-on-the-range cooking at its best

My Toaster Is Broken thanks to Keith Blake

From Bubba's 'toaster oven recipes' book

My Toaster Is Broken thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Tacos are the food of genius. - Heather Brewer

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Bacon is duct tape for the kitchen. - Unknown

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Love is a place for your heart to get broken. - Hector Schiller

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken. - Albert Camus

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Old statisticians never die, they are just broken down by age and sex. - Unknown

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Poetry spills from the cracks of a broken heart, but flows from one which is loved. - Christopher P. Rubero

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

No matter what the recipe, any baker can do wonders in the kitchen with some good ingredients and an upbeat attitude. - Buddy Valastro

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


Brick Road Laying in The Netherlands

Cat Love

Sawfish Sword

Babysitter Dog

Bag Feelers

Love Feeding Birds

Backup Grill

Yoda-Churchill

Royal Knit Wit

Make Loaf Not War

Topping The Charts

Passageway

Wet Suit Danger

Shopping With Grandma

Colorectal Exam For Dogs

Suitcase Recycling

1941 PTO Portable Sawmill

Leaky Pipes

Camel Photobomb

Teabucks

Diabetes Donation

Garmin Drive

CreepEye

Sleeping Guests