#1 humor site on the 'net

My Time

If Pablo Picasso created wall clock sculptures

My Time thanks to Sonya Zupan

Interpetive wall clock captures timing of another work day

QuotaBills
Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. - John Gardner

The hardest thing to do is win it the second time. - Red Auerbach

Her time is about 4.33, which she's capable of. - David Coleman

Everything comes in time to him who knows how to wait. - Leo Tolstoy

Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. - Cyril Northcote Parkinson

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want. - Bill Watterson

I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. - Eartha Kitt

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. - Steven Wright

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes. - Oscar Wilde

The moment you think you understand a great work of art, it's dead for you. - Oscar Wilde

What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it. - Mark Twain

Growing old is no more than a bad habit that a busy person has not time to form. - Andre Maurois

In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time. - Anthony d'Angelo

Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. - Betty Smith

The sole art that suits me is that which, rising from unrest, tends toward serenity. - Andre Gide

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. - Unknown

Success is a two-bladed golden sword - it knights one and stabs one at the same time. - Mae West

All my life I've looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time. - Ernest Hemingway

There are a lot of things happening that show us that this, right now, is a time to love. - Stevie Wonder

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

The whole of life is but a moment of time. It is our duty, therefore to use it, not to misuse it. - Plutarch

Four things come not back: the spoken word, the sped arrow, time past, the neglected opportunity. - Omar Ibnal-Halif

It takes less time to do something right the first time, than it does to explain why you did it wrong. - Unknown

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

Do you think that every time someone has acupuncture there's a voodoo doll out there having a really bad day? - Caryn Leschen

To be loved at first sight, a man should have at the same time something to respect and something to pity in his face. - Stendhal

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment. - Sarah Dessen

If you think that praise is due, now's the time to show it, 'cause a man can't read his tombstone when he's dead. - Unknown

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

Overnight success just doesn't happen. You've got to put your time in. You're up and down - all of a sudden, it just clicks. - Anthony Calvillo

Art owes its origin to nature. This beautiful creation supplied the first model, while the original teacher was that divine intelligence. - Giorgio Vasari

Deadlines aren't bad. They help you organize your time. They help you set priorities. They make you get going when you might not feel like it. - Harvey Mackay

How much replay do we want? Because if you start doing it from the first inning to the ninth inning, you may have to time the game with a calendar. - Joe Torre

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time. - Bertrand Russell


Sole Casket

Windscreen Spoon

Fence Sitter

New College Game Show

Hands On Tree

Road Shortcut

Running Tears

Swingers

Bird Cam

Parent Signature

Bread Additive

Dates For Everyone

Tree of Dreams

Temporarily Insane Boat Ride

Exit Door

Handicap Motorcyclist

New Canada Bill

Staff Teeth

Funnel Farm

Buffalo Prod

Meat Pie

Where Nobody Speeds

A Fish Called Wanda - Uncut Version

Point Of View