#1 humor site on the 'net

My Time

If Pablo Picasso created wall clock sculptures

My Time thanks to Sonya Zupan

Interpetive wall clock captures timing of another work day

QuotaBills
Time wounds all heels. - Groucho Marx

Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

We feast on time as time feasts on us. - Maria Popova

Killing Time: Suicide on the installment plan - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's the time of year when Canadians mate. - Craig Ferguson

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you. - Groucho Marx

Time goes by fast when you're avoiding homework. - Unknown

The only time I feel alive is when I'm painting. - Andy Warhol

The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining. - John F Kennedy

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. - Groucho Marx

The best time to make up your mind about people is never. - Katharine Hepburn

Well arranged time is the surest mark of a well arranged mind. - Isaac Pitman

Art doesn't reproduce the visible but rather makes it visible. - Paul Klee

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. - Scott Elledge

Homer has taught all other poets the art of telling lies skillfully. - Aristotle

Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time. - Arthur Ashe

It's a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock. - David Coleman

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Do we need more time? Or do we need to be more disciplined with the time we have? - Kerry Johnson

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. - Unknown

Most of the time, if you treat people right, you don't have to be afraid of them. - Kathy Kelly

No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses - one vaccine at a time, over time. - Donald Trump

My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award. - Michael Caine

Celebrate what you've accomplished, but raise the bar a little higher each time you succeed. - Mia Hamm

Even a wise man knows doubt from time to time, it is the fool who allows it to rule his judgement. - Jennifer Hudock

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money. - Jack Nicholson

There's no age that isn't a good time to confront one's mortality or to consider a second adulthood. - Barbara Ehrenreich

Audiences everywhere are tough. They don't have time to be bored or brow beaten by orthodox, old fashioned advertising. - Craig Davis

Every time you feel yourself being pulled into other people's drama, repeat these words: Not my circus, not my monkeys. - Polish Proverb

Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time. - J.M. Barrie

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

Maybe I couldn’t be dafter,
But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after. - Ogden Nash

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. - Denis Waitley

Never play with the feelings of others, because you may win the game, but the risk is that you will surely lose the person for life time. - William Shakespeare

If Obama resigns from office NOW, thereby doing a great service to the country, I will give him free lifetime golf at any one of my courses. - Donald Trump

I know of no other man in our time, or indeed in recent history, who so convincingly demonstrated the power of the spirit over material things. - Stafford Cripps

Closed systems run down and get more chaotic over time. Always get better by being open to outside energy and templates of better ways to function. - Henry Cloud

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


Computer Challenged

1st Rolex

Tennis Plant

Florida Moves Out Of Hurricane Zone

Small Bills

Denmark Traffic Signals

Nail Polish Lookalilikes

Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike

Chip and Dip