#1 humor site on the 'net

My First Accident

Can't miss a great opportunity for a photo op!

My First Accident thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Perhaps not the safest place to be on the road

QuotaBills
Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One picture is worth a thousand words. - Fred Barnard

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

I'd give that picture a Japanese Academy Reward! - Archie Bunker

Stardom isn't a profession, it's an accident. - Lauren Bacall

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Collaborate with others who share you vision to see the bigger picture. - Richard Branson

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture. - Unknown

Happiness is an accident of nature, a beautiful and flawless aberration. - Pat Conroy

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

A portrait is a picture in which there is something wrong with the mouth. - Eugene Speicher

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

If you look like your passport photo, then in all probability you need the journey. - Earl Wilson

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

To be born free is an accident; to live free a responsibility; to die free is an obligation. - Mrs. Hubbard Davis

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

Like a bull into a china closet. Like in that picture, "The Prince and The Porpoise." - Archie Bunker

Police officers may drive black and white cars, however what goes on in their job is a lot of gray. - Arik Matson

Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here." - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

When he wanted to take her picture, he didn't tell her to smile, but told her, "I love you" and her smile was more beautiful. - Unknown

Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. - Russell Baker

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes