#1 humor site on the 'net

My Daughter and My Money

Investing in the future

My Daughter and My Money thanks to joe-kster

Preparing for studies at Texas and M

My Daughter and My Money thanks to joe-kster

QuotaBills
Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

College is a refuge from hasty judgment. - Robert Frost

You can always tell a Texan, but not much. - Unknown

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

I've won at every level, except college and pro. - Shaquille O'Neal

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Walking has been ridiculous in college basketball the past 15 years. - Bobby Knight

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his intellectual nakedness. - Robert M. Hutchins

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in the afternoon, I'd be a college graduate today. - George Foreman

You don't have to be a genius or a visionary or even a college graduate to be successful. You just need a framework and a dream. - Michael Dell

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen


Fish Walk

Paradigm Shift

Spanish Stairs

TyrannoSnowRus Rex

Hawaii Surfing

Should Have Pulled Out

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Cooking For Guys

One Sushi Is Enough

Before Online Dating

Wood Trike

Crow Species

Young or Old Swimmer?

Japanese Keyboard

Baby Peephole

Exit Not Found

Cat Burglar

Foot Race

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Lockdown Advice

Wii Way

Odor Detector

Associate Demonstration

Biden in the Oval Office