Multitasking Mom

Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

An ounce of mother is worth a tone of priest. - Spanish Proverb

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Biplane: The advice I got from my mother on purchasing underwear. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My mother was my role model before I even knew what that word was. - Lisa Leslie

Be kind to your mother-in-law but pay for her board at some good hotel. - Josh Billings

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

I not only think we tamper with Mother Nature, I think that Mother Nature wants us to. - Willard Gatlin

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. - Agatha Christie

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

The choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. - Oprah Winfrey

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

My Mother: She is beautiful, softened at the edges and tempered with a spine of steel. I want to grow old and be like her. - Jodi Picoult

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain