Mistaken Door

Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Only dumb people are happy. - Courtney Love

Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. - Leo Tolstoy

When one door shuts, a hundred open. - Spanish Proverb

Lack of pep is often mistaken for patience. - Kin Hubbard

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

If you want the girl next door, go next door. - Joan Crawford

Mama says, 'Stupid is as stupid does.' - Forrest Gump

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. - Unknown

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. - Emo Philips

Monarchy: Used to open doors in a Royal Palace. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't cure stupid, but you can sedate it. - Unknown

Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo. - Groucho Marx

You can't fix stupid - not even with duct tape. - Unknown

I see the poem or the novel ending with an open door. - Michael Ondaatje

A journalist is a person who has mistaken his calling. - Otto van Bismarck

At the deaf man's door, knock as much as you like. - Greek Proverb

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. - George Bernard Shaw

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. - Unknown

Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. - Clarence Thomas

If you shut your door to all errors, truth will be shut out. - Rabindranath Tagore

Desire is the key that opens the door when opportunity knocks. - Unknown

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. - Flora Whittemore

Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles. - Thomas Browne

Dubm Waiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The door of opportunity won't open unless you do some pushing. - Unknown

When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window. - Ogden Nash

Anyone who thinks my story is anywhere near over is sadly mistaken. - Donald Trump

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

He who is outside his door has the hardest part of his journey behind him. - Flemish Proverb

Opportunity does not knock. It presents itself when you beat down the door. - Kyle Chandler

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

Don't do something permanently stupid because you're temporarily upset. - Unknown

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Everybody needs his memories. They keep the wolf of insignificance from the door. - Saul Bellow

The door that nobody else will go in at seems always to swing open widely for me. - Clara Barton

If a door slams shut it means that God is pointing to an open door further on down. - Anna Delaney Peale

You don't have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to. - Louis C.K.

A word to the wise ain't necessary. It's the stupid ones who need the advice. - Bill Cosby

To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered. - Voltaire

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

A true friend is the one that's coming in the door while everyone else is going out. - Dr. Phil McGraw

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite. - William Blake

Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. - George Carlin

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

At the door of life, by the gate of breath, there are worse things waiting for men than death. - A.C. Swinburne The Triumph Of Time

I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. - Ginnifer Goodwin

Although I am not stupid, the mathematical side of my brain is like dumb notes upon a damaged piano. - Margot Asquith

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don't even remember leaving open. - Rose Wilder Lane

A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who believes there is no virtue or truth but on his own side. - Joseph Addison

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

Monkey: 1. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees; 2. A key that won't open a door. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

Forgiveness is a way of opening up the doors again and moving forward, whether it's a personal life or a national life. - Hillary Clinton

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

The talk you hear about adapting to change is not only stupid, it's dangerous. The only way you can manage change is to create it. - Peter F Drucker

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it was stupid. - Albert Einstein

Under the present circumstances, I would rather be a lap dancer than a woman MP - the hours are better and unruly male members are shown the door. - Allison Pearson