#1 humor site on the 'net

Me First!

Fighting for the choice prize

Me First! thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Playing cat-ch me while you can

QuotaBills
Curiosity killed the cat. - English Proverb

Fowl: A four-letter bird. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Unflappable: A flightless bird - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

International Spade The Cat Week - Archie Bunker

Catacomb: A feline grooming tool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

Goose: A bird that supplies quills for writing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Faith is the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. - Rabindranath Tagore

Woodpecker: 1. A knocking bird; 2. A 17th Century prosthetic device. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

I love cats because I enjoy my home, and little by little they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

The best reason for a knitter to marry is that you can't teach the cat to be impressed when you finish a lace scarf. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Nighttime Graffiti

Baby Formula

Kid Suction

Redneck Moving Truck

Critter Control

Lost Dog

Nail Chair

Looking For Something?

Yellow Pet

Race Break

Fuse Bypass

Good Boy

British Tea Party

Roadside Assistance

Chair Boy

Cheers Beer

African Airstrip

Horsepower vs Torque

Filling Up Is OverRated

Flywood

Ukraine Aid

Handicap Motorcyclist

Auto Warranty: New Extend-ed Coverage

Messerschmitt