#1 humor site on the 'net

Mad Mother Sale

Looking for a used truck in Wyoming?

Mad Mother Sale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

For times when the son forgets to use his brain

QuotaBills
Grammer: Your father's mother. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

Diligence is the mother of good fortune. - Benjamin Disraeli

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. - Sophocles

An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. - Spanish Proverb

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb

Antisocial: Mother's sister being friendly. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

Me and your mother ain't no duke or duke-ess. - Archie Bunker

My mother told me a million times not to exaggerate. - Unknown

Better mad with the rest of the world than wise alone. - Baltasar Gracian

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I am my mother after all. - Unknown

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. - Abraham Lincoln

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Mother - that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. - T Dewitt Talmage

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

God pardons like a mother who kisses the offense into everlasting forgiveness. - Henry Ward Beecher

Spoiled Rotten: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

If you can't be in awe of Mother Nature, there's something wrong with you. - Alex Trebek

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

I not only think we tamper with Mother Nature, I think that Mother Nature wants us to. - Willard Gatlin

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

Man is certainly stark mad. He cannot make a worm, and yet he will be making gods by dozens. - Montaigne

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - Unknown

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. - Woody Allen

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

I think Mick Jagger would be astounded and amazed if he realized that to many people he is not a sex symbol, but a mother image. - David Bowie

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

The whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. - Umberto Eco


One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop