Mad Mother Sale

Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't get mad, get everything. - Ivana Trump

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. - Lord Byron

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I unapologetically and unabashedly am deeply biased toward my mother. - Chelsea Clinton

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Mitch Albom

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. - Norm Papernick

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

The whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. - Umberto Eco

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda