Mad Mother Sale

Don't get mad, get everything. - Ivana Trump

We are all born mad. Some remain so. - Samuel Beckett

Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover! - Homer Simpson

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. - Salvador Dali

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

I unapologetically and unabashedly am deeply biased toward my mother. - Chelsea Clinton

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

New mother - they get a sense of waddya call, "the maternals." - Archie Bunker

The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - John Wooden

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. - Mark Twain

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy Fisher

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. - Honore De Balzac

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

They want people like your mother down there because they know they ain't got no pre-conscrewed ideas. - Archie Bunker

Drunk Man: "I can't bear fools."
Dorothy Parker: "Apparently your mother could." - Dorothy Parker

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

In Hollywood, you play a mom, and the next thing you know, you're on The Golden Girls. They age you so fast. - Gabrielle Union

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing. - Elizabeth Cohen

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. - Umberto Eco

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten