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Mad Mother Sale

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Mad Mother Sale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

For times when the son forgets to use his brain

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Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't get mad, get everything. - Ivana Trump

We are all born mad. Some remain so. - Samuel Beckett

In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa

As is the mother, so is her daughter. - Bible

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. - Phyllis Diller

A mother's love endures through all. - Washington Irving

Necessity is the mother of taking chances. - Mark Twain

A child's first teacher is its mother. - Peng Liyuan

I know how to do anything - I'm a mom. - Roseanne Barr

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. - Oprah Winfrey

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

Mother's Life: One darned stocking after the other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. - Mae West

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

Mother is the home we come from. She is nature, soil, ocean. - Erich Fromm

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

Modern Mother: One who worries if her daughter gets in too early - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

Mother is a verb. It's something you do. Not just who you are. - Dorothy C Fisher

If I didn't have you as a mom, I'd choose you as a friend. - Unknown

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

Today is the anniversary of you being expelled from your mother's uterus. - Unknown

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Antifreeze: What happens to your mother's sister when you steal her blanket - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grandmother and grandchild never truly part, maybe in distance but never in heart. - Unknown

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

I want to stay curled and cosied and chocolated... forever in my mother's arms. - Sanober Khan

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are. I mean, I'm a mom. - Unknown

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

When you are looking at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Charley Benetto

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - Unknown

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. - Rita Rudner

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed. - Godfrey Winn

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son. - Unknown

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

So long as the mother, ignorance, lives, it is not safe for science, the offspring, to divulge the hidden cause of things. - Johannes Kepler

Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

The most beautiful word on the lips of mankind is the word 'Mother', and the most beautiful call is the call of 'My Mother'. - Kahlil Gibran

The whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. - Umberto Eco

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


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