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Mad Mother Sale

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Mad Mother Sale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

For times when the son forgets to use his brain

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Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

In a mad world only the mad are sane. - Akira Kurosawa

Ignorance is the mother of admiration. - George Chapman

Bagdad: What mother did when she met father - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. - Sophocles

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Better mad with the rest of the world than wise alone. - Baltasar Gracian

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

I got to grow up with a mother who taught me to believe in me. - Antonio Villaraigosa

Blaming mother is just a negative way of clinging to her still. - Nancy Friday

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Adam was the luckiest man in the world - he had no mother-in-law. - Sholom Aleichem

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. - Charles Bukowski

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad. - Salvador Dali

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation. - James E Faust

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. - Dorothy C Fisher

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Antifreeze: What happens to your mother's sister when you steal her blanket - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

Grandmother and grandchild never truly part, maybe in distance but never in heart. - Unknown

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

My nickname is 'Mom', but my full name is 'Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom.' - Unknown

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

A grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend. - Unknown

When you are looking at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Charley Benetto

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts. - G B Burgin

Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. - Taraji P Henson

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Sayin' grace - it's just thankin' Mother Nature, whose 1st name just happens to be Grace. - Archie Bunker

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

My mother always used to say, "The older you get, the better you get. Unless you're a banana." - Betty White

My mother always told me I wouldn't amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said, Just wait. - Judy Tenuta

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen

To be successful you have to be lucky, or a little mad, or very talented, or find yourself in a rapid growth field. - Edward de Bono

I welcome him like I welcome cold sores. He's from England, he's angry, and he's got Mad Power Disease. - Paula Abdul

Lawyers are like professional wrestlers. They pretend to get mad and fight, but then they socialize after a trial is over. - Robert Whitlow

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

I like to have nice conversations with a man that teach me something, make me mad, make me curious. Then I find him attractive. - Renee Zellweger

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing. - Elizabeth Cohen

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


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