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Mad Mother Sale

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Mad Mother Sale thanks to Wayne Nowazek

For times when the son forgets to use his brain

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Mother Superiority - Archie Bunker

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't get mad, get everything. - Ivana Trump

Necessity is the mother of attraction. - Luke McKissack

Fearlessness is the mother of reinvention. - Arianna Huffington

I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

You trust your mother, but you cut the cards. - Unknown

The best place to cry is on a mother's arms. - Jodi Picoult

If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad. - Lord Byron

A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap. - Danish Proverb

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

A mother is one to whom you hurry when you are troubled. - Emily Dickinson

Jesus was a Jew, yes, but only on his mother's side. - Archie Bunker

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

Life began with waking up and loving my mother's face. - George Eliot

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

A mother's arms are more comforting than anyone else's. - Princess Diana

Her mother was a cultivated woman - she was born in a greenhouse. - Spike Milligan

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I unapologetically and unabashedly am deeply biased toward my mother. - Chelsea Clinton

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist. - Robin Williams

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but play is certainly the father. - Roger von Oech

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

There's no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one. - Jill Churchill

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake. - Karlie Kloss

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. - Mark Twain

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

You don't have to deserve your mother's love. You have to deserve your father's. - Robert Frost

I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. - Mitch Albom

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Let us build a church so great that those who come after us may thing us mad to have attempted it. - Unknown

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother. - Booker T. Washington

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. - Norm Papernick

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. Or the climbing, falling colors of a rainbow. - Maya Angelou

By embracing your mother wound as your yoga, you transform what has been a hindrance in your life into a teacher of the heart. - Phillip Moffitt

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

The whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth. - Umberto Eco

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. - Mark Twain

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Hadoukens

Free Gas

Wannabe Shoplifter

Breaker Bypass

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

No Muff Too Tough

Safe Removals

Yoga Business Card

Segway in Rural Norway

Mom Lookout

Dog Diner

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Ye Olde Simple Simon

High Tensile Snow

Target Entry

Squirrel Feeder Trap

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Florida Sewer Rat

Crane Drop

Special Touch

Muscle Control

Selfie Stuck

Organic Compromise