#1 humor site on the 'net

Lucky Spectator

Survivor from the NASCAR 23-Feb-2013 crash

Lucky Spectator thanks to Keith Blake

Back in 'Nam...

QuotaBills
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Khaki: A thing for starting a car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Everybody has to be a little lucky, I think. - Christopher Walken

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Growing old is something you do if you're lucky. - Groucho Marx

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The traveler with empty pockets pursues his journey in perfect safety. - Ovid

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk? - Dirty Harry

I'm just a lucky slob from Ohio who happened to be in the right place at the right time. - Clark Gable

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright

At 20 a man thinks he can save the world. At 40 he's lucky if he can save part of his salary. - Unknown

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Physics is about questioning, studying, probing nature. You probe, and, if you're lucky, you get strange clues. - Lene Hau

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

Love is like an earthquake - unpredictable, a little scary, but when the hard part is over you realize how lucky you truly are. - Unknown

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

Now I'm getting sad, just thinking about how it would feel to be parted from my sweet self. Lucky me: I will always have my own company. - Marie Rutkoski

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist

Curly Heels

Bottle Sneakret

Removed Posts

Second Hand Work

Ostrich Fill Up

Calory Bomb

Interuption Charge

Reach For Your Dreams

Perception

Jeopardy Measuring Cup

All We Have To Do Is Stand Up

Vacuum Extender

BrownEes

Chinese Puzzle Car