Lucky Spectator

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Better a lucky physician than a learned one. - English Proverb

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Never invest emergency savings in the stock market. - Suze Orman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? - Stanislaw J. Lec

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

Matt would be fantastic for New York if the Jets were lucky enough to get him. - Donald Trump

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

The world is getting to be such a dangerous place... a man is lucky to get out of it alive. - WC Fields

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

At 20 a man thinks he can save the world. At 40 he's lucky if he can save part of his salary. - Unknown

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I was born lucky, and I have lived lucky. What I had was used. What I still have is being used. Lucky. - Katharine Hepburn

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - Ronald Reagan

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Love is like an earthquake - unpredictable, a little scary, but when the hard part is over you realize how lucky you truly are. - Unknown

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of twenty-two, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation. - Tom Stoppard

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

The best way to meet a woman is in an emergency situation - if you're in a shipwreck, or you find yourself behind enemy lines, or in a flood. - Mark Helprin