#1 humor site on the 'net

Lowe's Holes

Home improvement ideas start in the parking lot

Lowe's Holes thanks to Keith Blake

No problem, I can see through the holes

QuotaBills
Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Black holes are where God divided by zero. - Steven Wright

People don't buy drills, they buy holes. - Zig Ziglar

Inequality of knowledge is the key to a sale. - Neil O Gustafson

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. - John Lithgow

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. - Chinese Proverb

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A shop should be like a song of which you never tire. - Harry Gordon Selfridge

First law on holes - when you're in one, stop digging. - Denis Healey

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield. - Price Cobb

Traditional methods of sales prospecting are grossly inefficient. - Jill Konrath

Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug. - Mark Knopfler

Some days you're the bug. Some days you're the windshield. - Price Cobb

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger. - Steven Wright

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

Someone told me that each equation I included in the book would halve the sales. - Stephen Hawking

I'm so ugly I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get. - Rodney Dangerfield

Please don't come to my garage sale if you've ever let me borrow something. - Mike Spears

My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn't walk to the donut shop. - Bill Murray

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Every sale has five basic obstacles: no need, no money, no hurry, no desire, no trust. - Zig Ziglar

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it. - George Duhamel

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said, "Cigarettes contain fat." - Dave Barry

Laughter is like a windshield wiper - it won't stop the rain, but it will allow you to keep going. - Unknown

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

Too often, sales reps simply regurgitate their presentations and expect to land the sale. It doesn't work. - Harvey Mackay

People shop and learn in a whole new way compared to just a few years ago, so marketers need to adapt or risk extinction. - Brian Halligan

The best cookies of all in the world are the ones my daughter Sally makes. They come out all uniform with nice little air holes. - Willard Scott

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

I hate smart sales clerks. I said to one, "What do you have in lingerie?" She says, "More than you'll ever have!" - Phyllis Diller

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Secret Passage

Redneck Wheelchair Stroller

Best Hands-On Coverage

When Air Was Free

Changing Priorities Ahead

Expired Marriage

No Flies On Me

Goose Walkers

Read Your Book Case

Trash Bin Parking

Train Hits Deer

Dog Face or Dog Butt?

Redneck Carriage Car

Fishing Trip in New Zealand

Baby's Eviction Notice

Australia 101 For Tourists

New Parking Spot For Women

Bestist

Perfect Circle

Work At Home Mom

German Car Parkade

Conversation Chair

Despicable Watermelon

Popcorn Cremation