#1 humor site on the 'net

LippoPotumus

Lip gloss to bring out the animal in you

LippoPotumus thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Hippo Lippo art illusion

QuotaBills
Read my lips: no new taxes. - George Bush

Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor

Diamonds are forever, my youth is not. - Jill St John

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

May your life preach more loudly than your lips. - William E Channing

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

Through darkness diamonds spread their richest light. - John Webster

The ring always believes that the finger lives for it. - Malcolm de Chazal

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with. - Thomas Carlyle

Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles. - Thomas Browne

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough. - Mary McLeod Bethune

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Next to good judgment, diamonds and pearls are the rarest things in the world. - Jean De La Bruyere

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

You are, at this moment, standing, right in the middle of your own 'acres of diamonds.' - Earl Nightingale

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I work with gold that holds history, diamonds that see the future, and rubies that long for love. - Waris Ahluwalia

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

Don't depend on anyone else to toot your horn. I mean, do you really want their lips on it, anyway? - Faydra D. Fields

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

A diamond was laying in the street covered with dirt. Many fools passed by. Someone who knew diamonds picked it up. - Kabir

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

The more the diamond is cut the brighter it sparkles; and in what seems hard dealing, there God has no end in view but to perfect His people. - Thomas Guthrie

With so much to be aware of, awareness bracelets have reverted to signifying nothing more than color itself. Idealism has devolved into fashion. - Timothy Noah

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris


Kids Klub

Sheep Dog Distancing

Candy Hairess

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Bag Hang-Up

Dog Spa

Pacman Skeleton

Young Rock Star

Shoplifter Warning

Eavestrough Cat

Bobbie Tickle

Exhausting or Amewzing?

World's First Hard Hat

Cup on the Edge

British Gas Meter

Hot Summer Days

Senior Protesters

Microsoft Software Upgrade

Mow Your Lawn

Drinking Alone

being Fearless

Bible Bar

A Good Woman

Tunnel Face