#1 humor site on the 'net

LippoPotumus

Lip gloss to bring out the animal in you

LippoPotumus thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Hippo Lippo art illusion

QuotaBills
No pressure, no diamonds. - Mary Case

Read my lips: no new taxes. - George Bush

Big girls need big diamonds. - Elizabeth Taylor

Soul meets soul on lovers' lips. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

It ain't exactly the Pope diamond. - Archie Bunker

If the phone doesn't ring it's me. - Jimmy Buffett

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. - Ernest Hemingway

Character is a diamond that scratches every other stone. - Cyrus A. Bartol

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all. - Mark Twain

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

Rappers wear diamonds to compensate for a lack of fashion sense. - Asap Rocky

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

Contentment, like a flawless diamond, is a valuable and scarce commodity. - Dennis Rainey

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

Beware of those who would pay you lip service but refuse to put their money where their mouths are. - Faydra D. Fields

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. - Judy Garland

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Dear Diamond,
We all know who is really a girl's best friend.
Yours sincerely,
Chocolate Cake - Unknown

The only way we can ever teach a child to say "I'm sorry" is for him to hear it from our lips first. - Kevin Leman

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

My dream is for people around the world to look up and to see Canada like a little jewel sitting at the top of the continent. - Tommy Douglas

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. - Peter Marshall

In this year, King Aethelstan, Lord of Warriors, ring-giver to men... won eternal glory, in battle with sword edges, around Brunaburh. - Unknown

With so much to be aware of, awareness bracelets have reverted to signifying nothing more than color itself. Idealism has devolved into fashion. - Timothy Noah

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris


Salmon Bikini

Mexican Phys Ed Classes

Parasite Trivia

Plug Puller

Steamworks Bathroom

Another Repost

Pipeline Protesters

Bread Gloves

Winterpeg Warm

Pen Sale Not

Soda Bottle Boat

Raccoon Rock

Cement Truck Lane

Air Wakanda

Birthday Bonus

Harrison Ford

Better Start In Life

Husband Makes Lunch

Bottle Curtains

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Frozen Eyelashes

Chipwrecked

Moose Parking