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Kids Meal

Humour for both dinner and license plates

Kids Meal thanks to Julie Kimmel

License Plate humor in Virginia

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Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Raising kids is a walk in the park. Jurassic Park. - Unknown

A meal without mushrooms is like a day without rain. - John Cage

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Jackpot: When all the kids stay at friends' homes for the night - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

I'd like to be the ideal mother, but I'm too busy raising my kids. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal. - Groucho Marx

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

The sun looks down on nothing half so good as a household laughing together over a meal. - C S Lewis

I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps. - Jimmy Kimmel

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. - Emily Mortimer

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

You know you're a mom when you go to the store for yourself and come out with a bag of things for your kids. - Unknown

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. - Calvin Trillin

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


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