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Kenwood Chef

This chef does everything but cook

Kenwood Chef thanks to Mike King

Men that don't last long in the kitchen or house

QuotaBills
Seek a wife in your own sphere. - Latin Proverb

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

Psychiatrist: a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. - Unknown

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. - Ken Dodd

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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