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Kenwood Chef

This chef does everything but cook

Kenwood Chef thanks to Mike King

Men that don't last long in the kitchen or house

QuotaBills
Take my wife - please! - Henny Youngman

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

My wife hasn't had a birthday in 4 years. She was born in the year of our Lord-only-knows. - Unknown

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. - Rodney Dangerfield

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


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