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Kenwood Chef

This chef does everything but cook

Kenwood Chef thanks to Mike King

Men that don't last long in the kitchen or house

QuotaBills
My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

My wife simply quoted, 'For better or worse.' It was only then that I realized the phrase was not multiple-choice. - Michael Gurnow

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


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