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Kenwood Chef

This chef does everything but cook

Kenwood Chef thanks to Mike King

Men that don't last long in the kitchen or house

QuotaBills
These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

Grace: nutrient in the marriage garden - Phil Callaway

Ideal Wife: Any woman who has an ideal husband - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

A round wife and a full barn are the signs of good success. - Amish Saying

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

A sushi chef has to spot the best-quality fresh fish instantly. - Nobu Matsuhisa

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

I always had a fantasy of being a chef, because I like kitchen life. - Geoffrey Rush

If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express. - Milton Berle

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth". - Groucho Marx

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

When my wife says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space and write a poem on the moon before we go. - Mike Vanatta

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


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Child's Motorcycle Helmet

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