#1 humor site on the 'net

It's About Time

Einstein's theory about space

It's About Time thanks to Keith Blake

Everything is relative

QuotaBills
No time like the present. - Mrs Manley

An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. - Friedrich Engels

Who the hell wants to be happy all the time? - Christopher Plummer

It's the time of year when Canadians mate. - Craig Ferguson

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

I don't need time. What I need is a deadline. - Duke Ellington

It is the empty space which makes the room useful. - Lao-tzu

Next time you give your clothes away, stay in them. - Henny Youngman

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Each time you love, love as deeply as if it were forever. - Audre Lorde

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it. - Joan Rivers

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

Be a good person but don't waste time trying to prove it. - Unknown

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

The butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough. - Rabindranath Tagore

My father... one of the great immorals, er, immortals, of our time. - WC Fields

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

You may have heard some funny comedians in your time - Milton Berlin, Don Trickles. - Archie Bunker

If I've learned nothing else, it's that time and practice equal achievement. - Andre Agassi

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure. - Lee Segall

There's nothing so tragic as the murder of a beautiful theory by a gang of brutal facts. - Unknown

Every time a child is born it brings with it the hope that God is not yet disappointed in man. - Rabindranath Tagore

Having a kid is like falling in love for the first time when you're 12, but every single day. - Mike Myers

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing 'k' instead of 'ok'? - Unknown

Smell is a long-distance sense, a way of stretching time and finding out in advance what lies ahead. - Lyall Watson

Most of us spend too much time on the last twenty-four hours and too little on the last six thousand years. - Will Durant

If you must play, decide on three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. - Chinese Proverb

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. - Frank Zappa

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children. - Bill Hicks

I don't think that we're meant to understand it all the time. I think that sometimes we just have to have faith. - Nicholas Sparks

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast. - Leonardo da Vinci

Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. - Denis Waitley

When I started Facebook from my dorm room in 2004, the idea that my roommates and I talked about all the time was a world that was more open. - Mark Zuckerberg


New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life

Dog Walker

New Zealand Prepares For War

Window Washing Daredevil

Aussie Ford Coupe

Pushing The Envelope

Window Fall Repair

Bacon Balls

Tiny Forest

Inside Loo View

Finally 21

Diet Swing

Vealy Big Meal