It's A Boy!

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

When a boy's coming into poobertyhood. - Archie Bunker

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

A man who lives long enough will be a boy twice. - Mokokoma Mokhonoana

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There are no premature babies, only delayed weddings. - American Proverb

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. - Bill Vaughn

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first. - Mignon McLaughlin

Success is the only motivational factor that a boy with character needs. - Woody Hayes

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun. - Jane Goodall

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

As an experienced artist, I carry my work like a secret pregnancy. I am always aware of inner life and the need to protect it. - Julia Cameron

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds