#1 humor site on the 'net

It's A Boy!

Sending a personalized birth announcement

It's A Boy! thanks to Keith Blake

How to open up baby's announcement card

QuotaBills
Nipper: Baby crab - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Titillate: A tardy meal for a breast-fed baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

The older a man grows the faster he could run as a boy. - Red Smith

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. - Unknown

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. - Albert Einstein

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Success is the only motivational factor that a boy with character needs. - Woody Hayes

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties. - Unknown

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

It's one of the great urban myths that people get pregnant in order to have children. - Menzies Campbell

See how the boy is with his sister and you can know how the man will be with your daughter. - Sioux Proverb

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bob War: (Southern) A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: 'Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

In 1953 there were two ways for an Irish Catholic boy to impress his parents: become a priest or attend Notre Dame. - Phil Donahue

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

The climate, the economic situation, rising birth rates; none of these things give me a lot of hope or reason to be optimistic. - David Attenborough

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

Without this playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of the imagination is incalculable. - Carl Jung

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik

I was thrown out of college during my freshman year, for cheating on my metaphysics final - I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. - Woody Allen

Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.' - Ryan Reynolds


Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike

Chip and Dip

Cat Couch Nap

Redneck Trophy Fish

Country Irony

'None Of The Above' Election Option

I've Got Your Back

Vintage Campers

Great Minds of History

But That Was Yesterday

Trudeau's Top Fails

Picture Of Me Getting Naked

Today's Paper Read Yesterday