It's A Boy!

Ignore the boy, Lord. - Homer Simpson

Boy: a noise with dirt on it. - Unknown

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

When a boy's coming into poobertyhood. - Archie Bunker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. - Bill Vaughn

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

When you reach the stars, boy, yes, and live there forever, all the fears will go, and Death himself will die. - Ray Bradbury

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader