#1 humor site on the 'net

It's A Boy!

Sending a personalized birth announcement

It's A Boy! thanks to Keith Blake

How to open up baby's announcement card

QuotaBills
Ignore the boy, Lord. - Homer Simpson

Boy: a noise with dirt on it. - Unknown

I'm just a true Irish boy at heart. - Colin Farrell

When a boy's coming into poobertyhood. - Archie Bunker

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

Any American boy can be a basketball star if he grows up, up, up. - Bill Vaughn

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

When I was a child, I wanted to raise horses in Wyoming or be a cabin boy on a pirate ship. - Sadie Jones

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

In America any boy may become President, and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. - Adlai Stevenson

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

When you reach the stars, boy, yes, and live there forever, all the fears will go, and Death himself will die. - Ray Bradbury

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

Babies are bits of stardust, blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth, for she has held a star. - Larry Barratto

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader


Snow Aerobics

25 Toes

Wedding Cake Dress

Bacon Soda Sales

Wet Insect

Chinese New Year Greetings

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Gun Laws

Mounted Deer Antlers

Anti-Theft Car

SUV Haircut

Two Feet of Snow in Seattle

Chevforodge

Redneck Skurfing

Golf Prayer

Warmest Wishes for a Perfect Sunday

Walking The Dog

Bobslide Event

Holy Bagel

Happy Down Under Day

In Deep Water

Lean Beer

Cow Skiing

Trail Closed