#1 humor site on the 'net

Invisible Air Force One

Maiden flight for the President

Air Force General: "Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility cloak for Air Force One."
Biden: "No Way?"
General: "That's right, Sir. The plane will be invisible. Will you be going along on its maiden flight?"
Biden: "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
General: "Have a good trip, Sir."
Invisible Air Force One thanks to Jim Serritella

The United States Air Force - solving problems since 1947

Venturing into the unknown in space flight

QuotaBills
Diplomacy: Lying in state. - Oliver Herford

Jazz is democracy in music. - Wynton Marsalis

Politics is an inexact science. - Otto von Bismarck

Erection: When Japanese go to vote. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One cannot govern with "buts." - Charles de Gaulle

Liberty for wolves is death to the lambs. - Isaiah Berlin

Information is the currency of democracy. - Unknown

In politics the middle way is none at all. - John Adams

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

From politics, it was an easy step to silence. - Jane Austen

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. - WC Fields

Politics is just show business for ugly people. - Jay Leno

Liberty is never being too sure you're right. - Learned Hand

Turn on to politics, or politics will turn on you. - Ralph Nader

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

Government cannot and must not replace private initiative. - Kim Campbell

Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. - George Bernard Shaw

Politics is for the present, but an equation is for eternity. - Albert Einstein

World War II was the last government program that really worked. - George Will

Idealism loses to pragmatism when it comes to winning elections. - Danny Strong

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Corruption is nature's way of restoring our faith in democracy. - Sir Peter Ustinov

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government. - Edward Abbey

Passion and prejudice govern the world, only under the name of reason. - John Wesley

Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. - Mao Zedong

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

If I wished to punish a province, I would have it governed by philosophers. - Frederick The Great

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

In a democracy the majority has every right to act as stupid as the minority. - Frank Dane

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. - P.J. O'Rourke

The only thing we learn from new elections is we learned nothing from the old. - American Proverb

Democracy is the process by which people choose the man who'll get the blame. - Bertrand Russell

My sheer existence is like a political act to a lot of people. It's not to me. - Grimes

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power. - Aldous Huxley

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. - Mark Twain

Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the people. - Oscar Wilde

The trouble with free elections is that you never know how they are going to turn out. - Vyacheslav Molotov

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

To acquire immunity to eloquence is of the utmost importance to the citizens of a democracy. - Bertrand Russell

The difference between death and taxes is death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. - Will Rogers

It's our experience that political leaders don't always mean the opposite of what they say. - Abba Eban

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. - H L Mencken

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men. - Clare Boothe Luce

Love, like democracy, can survive almost any attack - except neglect, indifference and maybe an arrow in the back. - Unknown

The business of government is to keep the government out of business - that is, unless business needs government aid. - Will Rogers

Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote. - Benjamin Franklin

The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not. - Thomas Jefferson

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected. The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen. - George MacDonald

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both. - Louis D. Branders

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him, better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

In politics, as in womanizing, failure is decisive. It sheds its retrospective gloom on earlier endeavor which at the time seemed full of promise. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Happy Face Sandwich

Senior Eye Exam

Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend