Inappropriate Water

Water rusts pipes. - WC Fields

Hard Water: The scientific name for ice - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

I drink to make other people more interesting. - Ernest Hemingway

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

You never miss the water till the well has run dry. - Irish Proverb

A mixture of brandy and water spoils two good things. - Charles Lamb

People run from rain but sit in bathtubs full of water. - Charles Bukowski

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Big ships can only be launched where the water is deep. - Amish Saying

I only drink coffee grown in high altitude rain forests. - Rob Dyrdek

I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean. - G K Chesterton

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

I ran a 100-mile marathon, and I was powered by coconut water. - Jesse Itzler

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering. - Milton Berle

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

Boat: A hole in the water surrounded by wood into which one pours money - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

You don't drown by falling into water. You only drown if you stay there. - Zig Ziglar

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver, so I could drink more and care less. - Tina Fey

Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Like a camel, I can go without a drink for seven days - and have on several horrible occasions. - Herb Caen

What is harder than rock, or softer than water? Yet soft water hollows out hard rock. Persevere. - Ovid

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Tariff: A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Be like a duck, paddling and working very hard inside the water, but what everyone sees is a smiling and calm face. - Manoj Arora

I love Canada. It makes a nice hat for America. When America runs out of water, it's the first place I'll go. - Ryan Reynolds

Love would never be a promise of a rose garden unless it is showered with light of faith, water of sincerity and air of passion. - Unknown

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris

One of the first duties of the physician is to educate the masses not to take medicine... Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants. - William Osler