#1 humor site on the 'net

I Like Cooking

How to save lives by using commas

I Like Cooking thanks to Shawn Kennedy

I Like Cooking thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

The eyes have one language everywhere. - George Herbert

Nothing you can't spell will ever work. - Will Rogers

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors. - Alice Walker

Speech is the vestibule to the palace of love. - Jami of Persia

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I will not down to posterity talking bad grammar. - Benjamin Disraeli

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

The English never draw a line without blurring it. - Winston Churchill

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence. - Xenocrates

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

A fool is known by his speech; and a wise man by silence. - Pythagoras

I don't even butter my bread. I consider that cooking. - Katherine Cebrian

I was 32 when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate. - Julia Child

Germlish: Training done using a mixture of English & German - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

When people are proud of their speech, be proud of your silence. - Luqman

Smoke detectors are basically just you-suck-at-cooking detectors. - Julius Sharpe

Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people. - William Butler Yeats

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. - Mark Twain

The English are not an inventive people; they don't eat enough pie. - Thomas Edison

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

A bore is one who has the power of speech but not the capacity for conversation. - Benjamin Desraeli

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

Language is our meeting place, the sea we live in... it is the common ground of our humanity. - Toby Wolfe

If we do not believe in freedom of speech for those we despise, we do not believe in it at all. - Noam Chomsky

In the places I go there are things that I see that I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. - Dr. Seuss

If you find yourself saying, "But I can't speak English...", try adding the word "... yet". - Jane Revell

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Morals are an acquirement - like music, like a foreign language, like piety, poker, paralysis - no man is born with them. - Mark Twain

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Pentecost Sunday

Nun Chairs - Great Looking Legs

Organ Donor

Moldy Bible

Gyprock Prayer

Barn Art

Submarine Tea

NAACP Cover Up

Quad Shot

Princess Parking

Restaurant Wait-er

How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?

Butterfly Lens

Pike Mouth Nest

Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence