#1 humor site on the 'net

I Do What I Want

On the cutting edge of unique decisions

I Do What I Want thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Going against the general trend

QuotaBills
Photographing a cake can be art. - Irving Penn

Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

I am putting real plums into an imaginary cake. - Mary McCarthy

The English contribution to world cuisine. The chip. - John Cleese

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Pie are not square. Pie are round. Cornbread are square. - Unknown

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

Because the sweeter the cake, the more bitter the jelly can be. - Lady Gaga

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

"Let 'em eat cake," to quote the late Mark Antonette. - Archie Bunker

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

I won't be impressed with technology until I can download food. - Unknown

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges. - Benjamin Franklin

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you're hungry again. - George Miller

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. - Carl Jung

Number theorists are like lotus-eaters – having once tasted of this food they can never give it up. - Leopold Kronecker

A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape. - Mark Twain

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Because of their cuisine, Germans don't consider farting rude. They'd certainly be out of luck if they did. - P.J. O'Rourke

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion. - Elon Musk

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays. - Red Skelton

A man finds room in the few square inches of the face for the traits of all his ancestors; for the expression of all his history, and his wants. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Yes!

Sunday Service Social Distancing

Mannequin Pointer

Life's Choices

Two Of Each

Napoleon

Tomorrow

You Turn

ThaiTanic

The Future of Social Media

Tartan Headphones

Husband Quarantine

Aussie Salad

Greta on Chopsticks

Darkness Eliminator

Don't Touch Your Face

Pet Dentist

Falcon Resting in a Tree

Wine Day

Fishnet Table

Sink Lynx

No Swimming

Going Up

The Honey Truck