#1 humor site on the 'net

Husband Makes Lunch

A relationship where he spends equal time in the kitchen

For the first time in their 3-year marriage, Peter's wife asked him if he would mind making the next day's lunches for them both. Obligingly he agrees.
The next morning, the wife asks her loving husband, “Where are our lunches, honey?” He replied, “I put them on the second shelf of the fridge. My lunch is the one on the left, and yours is on the right.”
Husband Makes Lunch thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Making your own lunch is clearly the sensible option

Making your own lunch is clearly the sensible option. But then you'll never know the wonder of a Wiltshire-Cured Ham and Greve Cheese Artisan Baguette!
QuotaBills
Dinner is poured. - WC Fields

I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. - Steven Wright

I'm having an old friend for dinner. - The Silence of the Lambs

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. - WC Fields

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. - Clifton Fadiman

There's always free cheese in a mousetrap. - Unknown

I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach. - WC Fields

Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch. - David A. Schmaltz

March came in like a lion and went out like a ham. - Frank Nugent

I'd rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin. - Gwyneth Paltrow

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say? - George Carlin

Electroplate: What atomic scientists eat their dinner from - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We're eating dinner soon. Don't fill up on homework. - Alex Baze

My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare. - Mike Myers

How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? - Charles de Gaulle

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. - Billie Burke

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Be prompt and you dine alone. - Gerald Barzan

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world. - Oscar Wilde

Unabated: 1. A fishhook without a worm; 2. A mousetrap without cheese. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. - Adelle Davis

Dinner and a movie? Forget that. I'd rather have a picnic and a waterfall. - Amanda Grace

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My body is like breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I don't think about it, I just have it. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner. - James Bovard

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

I had a feeling once about mathematics – that I saw it all... but it was after dinner and I let it go. - Winston Churchill

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner. - H L Mencken

The pig is not just pork chops and bacon and ham to us. The pig is a co-laborer in this great land-healing ministry. - Joel Salatin

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

I'm Irish, so I'm used to odd stews. I can take it. Just throw a lot of carrots and onions in there and I'll call it dinner. - Liam Neeson

I'm readin' in the paper where the CIA is dopin' people up. Maybe somebody injected some of that LSD in the lady's cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker


Redneck Cooler

Instead Of Flowers

Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian Side

I Love Summer

Karma Towing

Salmon-chanted Evening

Hands On Tree

Fart Facts

New Medicare Program for Senior Citizens

Down Under Bat

Muffler Hanger

Construction Playground

Couch Dog vs. Paint Shop Pros

Spaghetti Tree

Take Away Van

Will To Live

Redneck Bra

Politician Plane

Millennial Jump Start

City Work Crew's Slow Day

Granny Smith Apple

Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart

Spaghetti Digest

Nice Try, China