#1 humor site on the 'net

Home Made Limo

Looking for a weld-done truck?

Home Made Limo thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How Bubba extended the usefulness of his pickup

QuotaBills
Homemade dishes drive one from home. - Thomas Hood

Vanguard: A person who protects trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yacht: 1. A floating debt; 2. Stretch limo of the seas. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One more stage, one more limo, one more run for your life. - John Lennon

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

A real New Yorker likes the sound of a garbage truck in the morning. - R.L. Stine

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. - Jackie Mason

LAN: To borrow as in, 'Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck.'” - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Pickup artist: An artist whose specialty is painting pictures of trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Window: 1. A looking-out glass; 2. Place in the truck to hang your guns. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You ain't going nowhere, son. You ought to go back to driving a truck. - Jim Denny

I see religion more as a truck stop on your way to figuring out who you are. - Brad Pitt

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

When I got outta High School I was driving a truck. I was just a poor boy from Memphis. - Elvis Presley

Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Everything's challenging for me, singing-wise. I'm like an old truck with one gear left on it. - Michael McDonald

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Unlucky: Crossing the street to avoid walking under a ladder and getting hit by a truck full of horseshoes - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

Truck Driver: 1. A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people; 2. A guy who goes the route. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One of my favorite things to make is homemade sushi. I know how to make the rolls and it's really fun to do. - Carly Rae Jepsen

Dubmerol: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

She ran after the garbage truck yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!" - Red Skelton

Jawjuh: (Southern) A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck." - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. - Oprah Winfrey

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter

Magic Puppies

Log Sticks

Tree Face

Camper Tank

Shipley Donut Pants

Distressing Artwork

Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance