#1 humor site on the 'net

Holding His Own Portraits

Taking hold of your own destiny

Holding His Own Portraits thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Supporting one's self throughout time

QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

People like to trace their ancestry. - Richard Dawkins

He flourishes with hereditary honors. - Latin Proverb

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Aren't most of you descended from pirates? - Prince Philip

The rich man has more relations than he knows. - French Proverb

Sticking with your family is what makes it a family. - Mitch Albom

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. - Jesus Christ

Anybody can make history, only a great man can write it. - Oscar Wilde

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are. - John G. Pollard

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

I think the family was from Hungaria. (talking about Noah's Ark) - Archie Bunker

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city. - George Burns

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. - Fred Allen

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. - Daniel J. Boorstin

It is a desirable thing to be well-descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors. - Plutarch

Your family is depending on you. No better reason to bring all your game all the time. - Grant Cardone

When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is not hereditary. - Thomas Paine

The family you came from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. - Ring Lardner

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

There's a lot of baggage that comes along with our family, but it's Louis Vuitton baggage. - Kim Kardashian

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

Any living cell carries within it the experiences of a billion years of experimentation by its ancestors. - Max Delbrook

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. - Thomas Overbury

The practical importance of the preservation of our forests is augmented by their relations to climate, soil and streams. - John Muir

The quality of a father can be seen in the goals, dreams, and aspirations he sets not only for himself, but for his family. - Reed Markham

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

How shall a man escape from his ancestors, or draw off from his veins the black drop which he drew from his father’s or mother's life? - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A man finds room in the few square inches of the face for the traits of all his ancestors; for the expression of all his history, and his wants. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey


WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe

Hummers Only Look Tough

Tactical Texas

Defence Budget Cuts

Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland