#1 humor site on the 'net

Halloween Driver Costume

Officer - is anyone driving that car?

Halloween Driver Costume thanks to Barry McCartney

When you feel like every police officer is pulling you over

QuotaBills
I only eat candy on Halloween. - Michael Trevino

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

I've made a career off of Halloween. - Cassandra Peterson

My only career goal is to be a Halloween icon. - Nuno Roque

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Costumes and scenery alone will not attract audiences. - Anna Held

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on. - Maxwell Maltz

It is a lot harder now to be a police officer than what it used to be. - Steven Seagal

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere. - Jimmy Fallon

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. - Mac McCleary

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The police feel that most of the public are against them and that there is a lot of bad feeling. - Peter James

Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween every day. - Gwen Stefani

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

Seems like Americans just want it to be Halloween all year. The holiday just keeps getting more popular. - Amity Shlaes

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

Nudist Colony Halloween parties are especially scary. They give the word 'moon' a new cruel meaning. - Ray Palla

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Halloween is a day in which some people choose to wear a mask, while others finally feel safe to take theirs off. - Steve Maraboli

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake


WipeOut

Turtle Truck

How To Burn Fat

Unplugged

Praying & Preying Mantis

Good Driver

Overpass Passover

Fire Starter

Sinus Remedy - How To Clear Out Your Nostrils

Auto Strap

Never Run a Red Light

Bee Safe

Hummers Only Look Tough

Tactical Texas

Defence Budget Cuts

Welfare State

No Flies On Me

Stick Family Meal

Wet Floor

Lord Of The Watch

Close Encounters of the Whale Kind

Military Watch Tower

No Go Intersection

Public Transportation In Scotland