Gone To The Dogs

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Homemade dishes drive one from home. - Thomas Hood

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down. - Unknown

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? - George Carlin

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

Drive slow and enjoy the scenery. Drive fast and join the scenery. - Douglas Horton

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

There's a drive in me that won't allow me to do certain things that are easy. - Johnny Depp

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

Moms are as relentless as the tides. They don't just drive us to practice, they drive us to greatness. - Steve Rushin

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. - Albert Einstein

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

The road to success is not easy to navigate, but with hard work, drive and passion, it's possible to achieve the American dream. - Tommy Hilfiger

For me, the drive is storytelling. To be a part of an art that tells a story and to be a catalyst, a color in that, is very exciting. - Alden Ehrenreich

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Success in almost any field depends more on energy and drive than it does on intelligence. This explains why we have so many stupid leaders. - Sloan Wilson

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman