Gone To The Dogs

Life is too short for traffic. - Dan Bellack

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

The beaten path is the safest, but the traffic's terrible. - Jeff Taylor

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went. - John Updike

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave. - Henry Brougham

I hired a chauffeur and I became a motivational speaker, because I don’t drive - I'm driven.
 - Jarod Kintz

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? - Dylan Moran

Trying to predict the future is like trying to drive down a country road at night with no lights while looking out the back window. - Peter F Drucker

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

There are two ways you can get through pain. You can let it destroy you, or you can use it as fuel to drive you: to dream bigger, to work harder. - Taylor Swift

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

Approach racing like a game of billiards. If you bash the ball too hard, you get nowhere. As you handle the cue properly, you drive with more finesse. - Juan M Fangio