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Golf Break

Golf lessons at home

Golf Break thanks to Gus Souza

Next best thing to cow pasture pool

It's important to remain active in retirement
QuotaBills
Work: The thing that interferes with golf. - Frank Dane

Golf is not so much a sport as an insult to lawns. - Unknown

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. - H L Mencken

If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. - Jack Lemmon

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. - Sam Snead

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks, and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Golf is like any other sports competition. There is not a whole lot of point to it unless someone suffers. - Kevin Wohl

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

One lesson you better learn if you want to be in politics is that you never go out on a golf course and beat the President. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

I don't know him very well... I've played him at golf and beat him badly both times, and I think that probably had a negative impact on him. - Donald Trump


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