France-Is Bacon

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

The French: Germans with good food. - Fran Lebowitz

France was a long despotism tempered by epigrams. - Thomas Carlyle

To understand Europe, you have to be a genius - or French. - Madeleine Albright

France has lost the battle, but France has not lost the war. - Charles de Gaulle

My husband is a general's chauffeur somewhere in France. - Lillie Langtry

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. - Douglas Jerrold

I like the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas more than the actual one. - David LaChapelle

As the French used to say, "the peace of resistance." - Archie Bunker

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. - Dave Barry

England is an empire, Germany is a nation, a race, France is a person. - Jules Michelet

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

The French invented the only known cure for dandruff. It is called the guillotine. - P G Wodehouse

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

France is a country where the money falls apart but you can't tear the toilet paper. - Billy Wilder

If I had an ego as big as the Eiffel Tower, would I have won this many collective trophies? - Zlatan Ibrahimovic

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The Kingdom of France will be thus ruled by King Charles VII... He will enter Paris in good company. - Joan of Arc

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

I went to a fancy French restaurant called "Deja Vu." The headwaiter said, "Don't I know you?" - Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. - Steven Wright

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

The Arc de Triomphe, the Eiffel Tower. They're monumental. They're straight out of Page 52 in your school history book. - Billy Crystal